This week

This was a rough weather week and a lot of people didn't feel well, myself included. For some people it was their joints aching, for others it was constant headaches. For me it was sinus pressure and neck pain. On Tuesday I made a same-day appointment at my pcp and went in to get it checked out. I was complaining of dizziness and lightheaded feeling. It alarmed me because at one point I thought I was going to pass out. It had started a few weeks ago, right around the time I cut sugar out. I thought that I was cutting too much sugar out so I had slowly reintroduced some back in, but the lightheaded feeling didn't go away and just got so much worse during the week with bad weather. Maybe it's related to the anesthesia from my hysteroscopy? No idea.

The doctor who saw me -- not my pcp but whoever in the practice had an opening that day -- did an exam, asked questions, took down history, etc. He couldn't find anything specific other than pressing on my sinus causing discomfort so suggested that I treat the sinus pressure symptoms to see if that helps. One thing that did concern him was my blood pressure: 160/90. It concerned me too. I know it usually reads high at the doctor's office, but it's been closer to 130s/80s the past few times I've been to - even as recently as all my pre/post op appointments for the surgery. He said he wouldn't put me on meds just for one reading (even though it was two within the time span of 30 min, same results). His recommendation was to record readings for a week at home and if symptoms persist to come back.

The next day I was scheduled at my clinic to take their two hour IVF class, which is mandatory for all new patients regardless of whether you've done IVF before or not. I didn't necessarily learn anything new but I did get more acquainted with the clinic, nurses, and protocols. It relieved a bit of the anxiety that has been sitting on me about starting another cycle and a new clinic.

I brought in my blood pressure cuff with me. After the class I asked the nurse if she could help me calibrate my cuff: she would take my pressure on their machine, then I'll take it on mine, and I can compare to see if it's at all similar and whether I could rely on it. Came out to 150/85 -- similar on both machines and still high. I thanked her and left for work.

This morning I tried my cuff again at home. I took three readings and they were each different, even though they were two minutes apart: 150/86, 142/89, 120/84. The last one is basically normal! I also noticed that the pulse was going down with each one.

I know some people have this "white-coat" syndrome where their bp spikes when it's about to get tested. I have mixed feelings about this - if something makes you nervous and your bp spikes then you have high bp. If someone cuts you off in traffic and your bp spikes? If you're caught off-guard and your bp spikes? Basically if you're getting these really high spikes then you have a bp issue, no? Maybe I just don't entirely get how bp works. I assume it's like your pulse that rises and falls throughout the day but that the baseline should test normal.

Anyway. Apparently I have this syndrome because I've had issues with my bp for years. At one point they put me on medication to lower it because every time I had it tested at the office it would be high enough to alarm them, even though when I was testing it at home it was fine. Eventually the meds were making my bp so low that I advocated to get off them and I did with doc's blessing. I haven't been on them for years. I even remember that some of the bc pills raise blood pressure and I had to switch from that. I feel like I'm back on that brand now and that might be a factor too.

From what I'm reading, limiting salt is a factor in controlling bp via diet. Oh awesome. So now I can't have sugar or salt. This is fabulous. I also read that getting rid of inches off your waist is a big help in lowering bp: approx 8 lbs off for every inch you want to lose.

So what's the moral of this story? Exercise is important to get blood pressure under control, to lower resting heart rate, and to control insulin. As much as I can't get away from it, I have every reason to up my exercise.

I treated the sinus pressure with some not-yet-expired flonase spray I had from last year's sinus infection, plus the weather finally cleared up, and some of the sinus pressure receded. I was still feeling fatigued and lightheaded. I used to wake up in the morning full of energy - I'd get up before the alarm most days, get up and immediately do things like load the dishwasher, fold laundry, or some other noisy tasks that would annoy my husband. These days I'm so tired. I feel alert and awake for maybe a few hours before I feel like I need a nap, and when I don't get a nap I just function at like 40% capacity until I collapse into bed.

The tightness in my neck led to the base of the skull and felt like heavy cement just hanging out there. I debated whether it was worth going for a massage or going back to the doctor. I decided to visit a physical therapist. I got in on a cancellation appointment on Thursday morning and got a full workup. She found that my right side is more tight and after several prodding questions deduced that it was probably because of the way I sit at my desk at work. She asked about medical history (I skipped the whole fertility part), did a few diagnostic tests, and then put heat on my neck and back for 15 minutes. After cooking my muscles she started to work on them.

It. was. painful. I didn't actively cry, but tears sprang up when she touched the sore muscles. She worked on my head and neck for a while "loosening" up whatever was tight in there, but less like loosening it felt like the worst pain I can remember having. At one point she was working on a neck muscle that triggered a really bad headache/dizziness, literally like an on button. She then worked on my back to loosen the headache she caused. After that she moved to my lower back and the agonizing pain continued. At one point I asked through clenched teeth, "is it supposed to hurt this much?" and her response was that she wasn't going to work on a muscle she didn't feel needs work. In other words, if it feels good then she's wasting both our time. The full appointment took about 2 hours from paperwork to leaving. The torture massaging lasted about half of that. While my muscles did feel looser in the areas she worked, everything else hurt. My skin was bruised and my head was pounding. I didn't even have energy to buy lunch somewhere and just ate the small snacks I brought from home.

Today I'm just sore and tired, with remnants of a dull headache in the back of my skull. We were supposed to have out of town company for the weekend but they rescheduled for another week. I'm thankful to have the weekend to rest and recharge.

For the time being, or at least I can come up with a new passion project, I need to make my health my main focus.
- Balanced eating
- Drinking water
- Exercise

I want to get my blood pressure under control without medication. On the other hand, I'm exhausted. Tracking food is exhausting. Constantly utilizing self-control is exhausting. I'm limiting sugar and carbs, and apparently now salt is limited as well.

Exercise is my biggest challenge. I know it needs to happen. I know all the benefits: healthier weight, lower blood pressure, lower resting heart rate, insulin benefits. Secondary benefits are to look better and feel better. All those things are excellent motivation and yet this is a real struggle for me. I need to find a solution.

Let's say I don't do it? That means adding blood pressure medication and metformin to my cocktail of daily meds. That means side effects. That doesn't solve other problems that come along with unhealthy lifestyle which will eventually catch up with me, regardless of how many meds I take. Not least of which, not addressing these issues could mean complications during a potential pregnancy. I'm not there yet, but this is my chance to address and reverse these unhealthy issues.

Every single day I need to make the choice whether to take care of my body or to put in on a back burner behind... netflix? social media? What am I prioritizing instead of it? Whatever it is, it's not as important. I need to make an effort, make the choice, and just do it.


We're gearing up for IVF 8 as August gets nearer. The cycle starts as soon as I get a period so it's helpful to have somewhat of a say when that is with the bc pills. We're waiting for my husband's recovery window to end. In the meantime we got approved by insurance to move forward; I'm getting my meds ordered; and finalizing any last minute things with the nurses so nothing is held up once we're ready to start. This might change as we get closer, but I'm not worried or excited for it; it just seems like one more thing to check off a list.


I'm looking forward to the weekend. I'm excited to relax and catch up with people I'm too busy to talk to during the week. Shabbat shalom.