Thursday Thoughts

The new floors are in. It's taking time to get used to them. They're darker than anticipated and let's just say there may have been an hour long crying session about the color. There has been a lot of crying in general. Most of it irrational. It feels weird to cry about stupid things when there are actual issues going on in the world. Not that I try to stop it - the tears come when they feel like it.

I did some retail therapy and got a rug and some new throw pillows. I think it will look nice once everything is done and the house is back in order. It's been stressful having everything all over the place and people in the house all day; basically the opposite of nesting.

With the mess in the house we've been doing takeout more often. I noticed that we've kind of gravitated toward more vegetarian friendly meals. Last night I ordered crispy eggplant and veg lo mein. The night before I got a roasted veggie wrap. I wonder if my vegetarian friends are rubbing off on me or my palette is just off these days.

I started stocking the freezer for the upcoming High Holidays. So far I made challah, unstuffed cabbage (meatballs with sauce), chicken stuffed with veg, and three types of cookies. Salads, fish, and sides be made fresh.

I've been working on being positive for the weeks ahead. Not only wanting to believe this may be happening but also wrapping my mind around the huge change about to take place. Physically, emotionally, hormonally.

Making arrangements for leave at work has felt like a challenge. Under normal circumstances I would have severe fomo about what's happening without me. But these aren't normal circumstances and I want to plan to be fully in the present taking in the entire experience with whatever that entails. I wonder if checking in every so often may be helpful in the transition of coming back, but I don't know if that's more harmful than helpful, not really being fully present in one place or the other. I think it will have to be a game-time decision and I'll have to do what feels right in the moment.