Change

Change is really hard. Even good change. Yesterday I had a difficult time.

After my appointment I was feeling really good: the weather was beautiful, I caught a great song on the radio, there was no traffic on the way to work. Overall very chipper and content. I knew there would be a down to the up, but I was enjoying the moment.

As soon as I got to work my mood took an almost immediate turn. The new person hired for my department, to take on some of my tasks while I'm out but then continue beyond, was in my area. I'm not gone yet. I felt overwhelmed and suddenly claustrophobic. I was immediately thrown into training her full time. I felt suffocated. I need to give her so much information in such a short amount of time and she wants to chat about personal stuff. Asking me questions like has it been an easy pregnancy and where am I planning to deliver. I don't want to chat. I barely want to talk. I want to set you up for success but not too much that you'll take over my job.

I tried to balance my feelings of being overwhelmed from all the change and knowing that this is all new to this person also and trying not to be a bitch to her. She was trying too hard to connect and the more she pushed the further I wanted to be from her, physically and otherwise. It was a very challenging day.

My biggest issue was feeling overwhelmed with all the changes personally and professionally at the same time. I felt like things are spinning out of control. Today I feel like I have more of a plan to discuss with my supervisor at our meeting tomorrow to get a better handle on things.