This is 35

Happiness takes work but it is a choice. During the Jewish month of Adar we increase our joy. It's not just automatic, but it's more easily accessible. One example I was taught was that it's as though He has opened up the happiness tap and all we have to do is reach out catch it raining down on us. It's available and there, but we do our part to gather it. So I've been working on happiness, positivity, being present.

At this point in my life, solid mid-30s, I don't have patience to do things I don't want to. I don't feel like I owe anyone an explanation for anything I choose. I appreciate genuine honest interactions more. I don't want to feel like I'm wishing my time away until xyz happens. For better or worse, this is my journey and it's up to me to make an effort to enjoy every day.

Over the weekend we celebrated my birthday. Friday was the actual day but I went to work and it was just us for dinner. Saturday night we went out with friends but I didn't keep my phone out so there isn't even a single picture - so did it really happen? On Sunday my family hosted a nice party. I took Monday off just to chill. I ended up spending some of the day getting the bathroom ready for the updating, but that's a different kind of joy since I'm so excited for this reno.

Tomorrow is a heavy date that's been weighing on me. While I've been trying not to let past baggage weigh me down I can't deny that it's on my mind. Working on trying to be positive about what's ahead.