IVF 8: Embryo update day 5

Two embryos made it to blast and were biopsied today. That seemed like good news to me, especially considering that in our prior seven cycles we've never had anything biopsied before day 6. 

They're still watching five embryos. Three are in compression stage which is right before blast, plus two others in various stages of development. They're giving all five an additional day to grow.

We got the news first thing in the morning so I appreciated that they didn't keep us on pins and needles all day. As the day wore on and things got more stressful at work I got annoyed and upset. At one point I felt like I had a severe hormonal dip because all I wanted to do was cry.

This is a stressful ride. I'm trying not to hold bitter feelings toward people who didn't check in during the roughest patch. For example I found myself being upset at coworkers in whom I've confided in the past and knew surgery was happening but didn't check in day of surgery or the rest of the weekend. Only when I came in on Monday did they ask about it. Yes they were on vacation but they're so addicted to their phones that they responded to email the whole time away from the office. It's not that hard to send a text. It sucks to go through something that feels huge to me but means little to someone I thought I was close to the point of forgetting.

I think I'm also sensitive about this because it's not like the list of people I confide in is so long. I've distanced myself from friends and relatives and really anyone else whose presence added to the hurt over the years. I've unfriended or unfollowed people on social media if their posts were too much. I've declined invitations to lifecycle events that didn't seem like would be a good idea for me to attend. I may have done too good a job keeping the distance because now it feels isolating and lonely. A while back I though it would be a great idea to befriend people in similar situation. The plan worked until those people got pregnant and moved on.

Maybe I'm hormonal. Maybe I'm just expecting too much of the people I've kept around. Maybe I'm sensitive about it and this is just normal relationships. Maybe I've become a sucky friend over the years and just don't realize it.