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| Chocolate Nut Matzah Toffee |
If the embryo is going to implant (if it hasn't already) I think today is its last chance, at least according to various articles I've read online. I made sure to take breaks and relax between putting things in the oven. During one of my breaks I was getting off the couch and felt a tight pang around my left ovary. Not sure it means anything and in any case it went away quickly. When I felt my body was ready for a break, I took a break. I had my pineapple and some honeydew for breakfast. I davened in the yard - it's another beautiful (hot) day. The time I spent in the kitchen was a fraction of the time I would usually spend in prep for a holiday but I'm fine with that. I'd rather give the embryo the best chance possible. Literally everything else is secondary.
Now I'm alternating between hanging out on the couch or in bed with my feet up for the remainder of the day. My husband cleaned the floors and set the table for tonight. We're not having company so that I can take it easy the next few days. I'm on vacation until Thursday and plan to chill until then.
I'm worried about the what-ifs. I'm concerned about the lack of symptoms. I'm worried about beta day being a work day and having to be at work when results come in. I have a low-simmer anxiety in the back of my mind. As much as I want to, I can't help the negativity cycling through my mind and it makes me tear up every time I think that it didn't work. I'm trying hard to swallow the panic and fear and work on trying to assume the best instead.
Whether or not you're celebrating a holiday today, hope it's a great day full of love, peace, and happiness.
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