Second Opinion

We met with a new RE from a different clinic for a second opinion. I originally scheduled the appointment as a knee-jerk reaction to the loss, not really planning to switch but wanting to hear from another clinician taking a fresh look at our situation.

I was impressed with the doctor we met. She's young and ambitious and showed what felt like genuine interest in our case. Our current doctor has experience that the young doctor doesn't yet have, but she makes up for in enthusiasm. Our current clinic is a fertility farm and this new place felt nothing like that. There are obvious pros and cons but it's going to be a big decision.

I had not transferred my records prior to our appointment because I didn't think we were switching. When new doctor asked us specific questions, like the grade of the embryos transferred or whether they tested for xyz, I had no idea. I felt dumb for being so uninformed about my own treatment. I didn't know to ask and my current doc didn't mention it. I was able to give her the information I did know, such as number of eggs retrieved, those reaching blast, and all transfer dates.

She answered all of my questions and based on the information we provided, she offered a few suggestions. Without seeing any records, she said she can only offer a superficial opinion which is that we're dealing with an implantation issue. She suggested a few things we could look into, such as endo scratch and checking progesterone levels. We left feeling like we had a lot to think about. Not even an hour after we left I got a phone call from the new doctor. She started by saying, "I was thinking about your case and...." and had a follow up question. It was a completely new experience feeling that the doctor actually cares.  In contrast, I emailed my current doc about how long it would be for my period to come already. He did answer within a few hours with a short message saying that if it doesn't come back within a week to contact the office to schedule a "no menses panel." He hasn't heard from me in six weeks and not even a simple, 'How are you doing?' My current clinic isn't doing anything wrong but the detached mannerisms bother me.

One thing the new doctor did give us clarity about is that now is the time to be banking embryos. At age 36-37 my ovarian reserve takes a major nose dive. As long as I'm getting good results and responding well to stims it's worthwhile to spend the time on IVF. I agree, so does my husband, and it's nice to hear a professional confirm it.  For that alone it was worth the trip.

Even though it was only one meeting I like the new doctor. I got a good feeling about her specifically but don't really like the new clinic. One major drawback is that the new clinic is nearly 35% more expensive.

Switching is a big deal. Moving records, redo some testing, figure out new protocols, sort out financials. If we switch we would need to spend at least a cycle to get situated. I hate to use this as a factor in making the decision, but if we switch clinics it feels like we're not only giving up on our current clinic, but that we've changed to a last resort option. I know that's not actually the case. But I can't shake the feeling that switching equals failure. On the other hand if one place isn't working is it worth sticking around. So hard to decide.

Since my period still hasn't come we're just waiting around and can't do anything anyway. We were hoping we'd be able to squeeze in a cycle before the high holidays but now who knows. Really sucks. Impossible to plan. Hard decisions and no way of knowing if any of them are the right path. Even after all this we're guaranteed nothing.