The Plan

It's 10dp6dt and I haven't tested yet.

I believe not testing helped keep me from over obsessing. Actually, it just shifted the obsession from the testing to not testing. But not having a physical or visual daily reminder made it possible to put aside the continuous loop of thoughts for a few hours every day until I remember, at which point I get a tiny jolt of anticipation about the "what-ifs." I realize that, like with every other time, I'm still expecting it to work. And every time it didn't work in the past it was all the more surprising and disappointing.

I've prepared for worst case scenario: planning to take the day off in expectation for the results phone call and didn't sign up to bring anything for Thanksgiving just in case we don't want to go. Yet I'm hoping for best case. I hope it works.

But what if it doesn't? I could live in denial but the reality is that if it doesn't work then the only thing to help from sinking into a deep depression is knowing what comes next. We have one frostie left from IVF 4 and we have a few options.

• Option 1: Move ahead with FET 5 with no changes
• Option 2: Move ahead with FET 5 but first do an endo scratch
• Option 3: Save the last healthy embryo and do IVF 5

It's distressing to think that after all this we may have to start over. It helps to prepare mentally even though I hope we won't need it. We are less than 48 hours from knowing one way or the other. 

The first time we transferred we didn't tell anyone. In fact we had conversations and disagreements about it because he wanted to tell his family and I felt that it was too soon - no one shares that they're pregnant at two weeks! I felt like it was an invasion of my privacy to share what's going on so early. But when it didn't work we had to share bad news. It was terrible. Second transfer we said we'd share the news after the first ultrasound. It never got that far because it didn't work then either. 

Third transfer we ended up sharing between first and second beta, mainly because we wanted so desperately to share good news and we weren't sure that we'd still have good news after second beta. Turns out we were right and once again we were disappointed. It was important to have the support of family and friends who knew. It helped us keep grounded and hopeful. 

And now? Everyone knows. Obviously not everyone; I can count on one hand how many people know. We're hoping we can get power of prayer and strength in numbers. Here's hoping!!!

FET tips and tricks

I've been scouring the internet trying to research things that have worked for other people have successful FETs. Tips and tricks range from old wives tales to doing nothing different at all. There's no magic bullet.

Here's what I found so far:
- Eat pineapple core. On transfer day, days following transfer day, sometimes for all transfer week.
- Eat Brazilian nuts
- Drink pomegranate juice
- Eat green leafy veg and lots of protein
- Get acupuncture starting 3 months before transfer, with sessions on day of transfer before and after
- Bedrest after transfer, take time off
- Stay active after transfer with light walks, no need for bedrest
- Comedy after transfer
- Keep feet warm after transfer
- Eat warm foods, cooked foods after transfer

- Transfer more than one blast

- Test embryos with PGD testing

Some links:
Embryo Transfer: 10 Essential Tips for Success
Implantation after IVF: 10 Crucial Tips
7 Ways to Prepare for Transfer at Home
5 Steps to prepare for a Frozen Embryo Transfer

The bottom line is that if any of this stuff was necessary, it would be required by my clinic. I am happy to try different things within reason but these lists of preparations border on superstition/obsession. I get that people want to have the best chance possible, but I'm not sure these tricks are what tip the odds. Even so, I'm willing to try some of them. I'm still not sold on acupuncture even though so many places recommend it.  It's not readily offered here and it's more stressful to try and find a licensed therapist to do it so I'll skip it this time.  As of now, here's my plan.

In the weeks leading up to transfer and thereafter:

- Continue with the meds prescribed by the clinic: del estrogen and progesterone. This one seems obvious but it is the only part of the protocol actually required by the clinic and is the most significant of the FET protocol.

- Continue with prenatal vitamin daily. Add separate Vitamin D as suggested by clinic.

- Continue with healthy eating of a balanced diet with high protein and minimum processed food.

- Continue with exercise routine. Add strength training twice a week.


For week of transfer:

- Schedule a massage for day before transfer

- Plan to take the day off work for transfer day. Take it easy the rest of the week, but no need to stay home.

- Plan for some good movies/TV and reading material for transfer day. Always happy for a reason to watch my favorite comics.

- Make big pots of chicken soup and beef broth to keep hydrated before and after transfer day and for the following days after.

- Add pineapple core, pom juice, avocado, and Brazilian nuts to my morning smoothies. I'm drinking them anyway so can't hurt to add a few more ingredients.

- Keep feet warm after transfer. I already have this down - I bought fuzzy slippers back in February when I thought we'd have an April transfer.

- Get the house professionally cleaned week of transfer.

- Stay calm and relaxed throughout the two week wait. Easier said than done. I originally planned to not do any HPTs but even I know that's not a realistic goal to set. Logically I know that testing or not testing won't change anything that's actually happening in there, but I'll have to make a game time decision when it's actually relevant.

I rarely drink wine or coffee so cutting those won't be an issue. I'll have to remember to stop eating deli and sushi starting that week. I did a quick Google search about other foods to avoid during pregnancy and it doesn't look like any of those foods are generally in my regular diet (soft cheeses, sea food, raw egg products).

Will any of this make a difference? I'm not convinced either way, but I'm not adverse to putting in the effort and giving it a try. I'll focus on keeping calm and stress free, and getting through the 2ww with as little anxiety as I can manage. I've starting to accept that it won't work and we'll have to do this again in a few weeks, so it's negative thoughts like that which I need to keep out of my mind. 

Having only a handful of appointments is a big plus.  There's the baseline, halfway check, actual transfer, and beta blood test.  Four visits instead of the very tedious IVF protocol. Hoping and praying this is the right time for it to work.