Someone posts pictures of their magical trip to another country and I immediately think, "I want to go on a trip!" Someone else posts pictures of their renovated kitchen and I think, "I need a new kitchen!" But we can't afford those things without going into unnecessary debt.
There are choices we made that led us to this point: prioritizing fertility treatment, purchasing a house, and keeping jobs that rank higher in flexibility (me) and health insurance (him) over salary. Keeping these priorities in the forefront of my mind gives me clarity when I get sidetracked by seeing what other people have. Sometimes it feels like we're missing out. What helps me stay grounded is taking a moment to think of all the gifts we regularly take for granted: living in a place of freedom, having safe shelter, clean water, indoor plumbing, air conditioning, and enjoying an abundance of resources. Just for starters.
Sure, a trip and a renovated house would be great and maybe one day I'll spend money on those. But for the time being, I choose to spend my money and energy on other things. It may or may not work, but I won't regret giving it the best chance possible at the expense of a few less materialistic things to post about this summer.
These are such good things to keep in mind.Ecerybody prioritizes differently, and it's hard to remember if you only see the finished product. What I'm jealous of is tidy well kept yards. It takes so much work (it feels) just to stop ours looking like a disaster. But we spend time more on other things. It sounds like you have been very thoughtful about your priorities so I hope things start to come together. Infertility is a huge issue to deal with, so always remember that, too.
ReplyDeleteOh that's a good one! I once called for an estimate and found out it would take $2500 to get professional landscaping. Definitely bottom of the list.
DeleteThere's one thing I always remember - we never know what people's lives are like, even if we think we do. I've just come back from a trip, and I'm sure people looked at me and were envious, but right now I wish I had a contract to help pay for that, and more importantly, pay for future trips. And besides, we all have different priorities. I love to travel, but our car is almost 20 years old. It'd be nice to have a new car, but like you, I have other priorities.
ReplyDeleteI also am a firm believer that having jobs you like or that work for you are far better than having high stress, high salary jobs. Our societies put so much emphasis on what we do, rather than WHO we are. Sigh.
I'm glad that reflecting on everything helps you feel good about that.
True, there's no way to know what people's lives are like in reality. People only post things they want others to know about.
DeleteI always think about the debt. We live without debt, and I always wonder if the people who have things I want live with a mountain of debt. I know I would never relax if I were in that situation, so I use it as my mantra: "At least we're not in debt."
ReplyDeleteYes, it's a helpful mantra. Somehow it's easier to think there's some equalizer, like they may have that but also debt.
DeleteI think it's also helpful to be clear on what your own priorities are. I've known a surprising number of people who aren't and just make short term decisions which end up not helping them in their priorities.
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