I was stressing about the first earliest baseline appointment, trying to plan a cushion to the things I know may delay us (i.e., insurance). I didn't factor in that in this shitty world of fertility treatment, another maddening perk of being on the failure merry-go-round is having all of your tests expire yearly.
I have to redo day-3 blood work. Both of us need to repeat infectious disease blood work. I need to have another mock transfer between days 5-12. All this unmedicated, leaving a logistical nida nightmare. It was suggested to wait until new insurance is verified, so this can't even happen in the January cycle. Which means the earliest baseline we're looking at is mid-Feb, base-case scenario and no other delays.
This news frustrated me so much. Shortly after, I heard the news that our rabbi passed away. He was in his early 90s and his health declined sharply in recent months, but it was still sudden and unexpected. It was the trigger that got the tears flowing. They weren't far from the surface anyway.
What I'm hearing is that the universe is telling me to work on my patience. There's no point in even trying to rush anything because whatever is supposed to happen will happen. This acceptance is like a tidal wave of relief.
Just be. Live in the moment. Whatever will happen will happen.
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