Day 343

Our nation is enduring a profoundly challenging time of deep mourning. Most recently, the tragic loss of the six hostages—Ori, Carmel, Eden, Hersh, Almog, and Alex—has sent shockwaves around the world, particularly affecting the Jewish community. For over 11 months, we have been grappling with the heavy burden of war, grieving those lost on and since October 7th, and feeling the strain of rising antisemitism from all directions. The one year mark looms ahead and there doesn't seem to be an end in sight. 

In an effort to feel control over something I started a decluttering project. I schedule a monthly donation pickup and commit to at least 4 bags to donate. It forces me to go through the house and fill up at least that many. It's usually more, and some additional bags for the trash. Over time it's making a difference. I'm really good at getting rid of things we don't use (unfortunately I'm equally good at ordering unnecessary things online) but I have a hard time parting with baby clothes. 

I saved most baby items from my oldest to youngest. They were born different seasons, and they're different sizes, so of course most of the baby clothes don't fit. I try to tell myself that if I'm lucky enough to have another baby we can buy more clothes. I also remind myself that it's stupid for the clothes to sit in a bin in my closet when there are actual infants who may benefit from them if the clothes got donated. So I've pruned the bins multiple times to pare it down to my top favorites and saved those. They hold a sentimental value and I can't quite part with them yet. 

In another stab at control, I set myself a weight loss goal and also put together a list of "prizes" to get for myself when I reach it. Logically, I know that with exercise and a calorie deficit I can lose weight. Realistically, it takes time and patience and effort. For a minute I considered buying a treadmill - weighing the pros and cons I realize that aside from the cost, I don't want to deal with assembly or maintenance or finding a spot to house it, not to mention the shame of having to post it on fb marketplace or similar when it doesn't get used. I started blocking off time for walks on my calendar and we'll see if that works.

I pray that the hostages get released or rescued, alive, and reunited with their families soon, and that our soldiers come home safely. I hope better days are up ahead, just around the corner. Shabbat shalom.