Birth Story

We were scheduled to come in on 10/15 for a scheduled induction. I was 39w 5d at that point. Chag ended at 7:08 pm and our appointment was for 8:30 pm. We took showers, packed up some snacks, finalized the hospital bags and were on our way.

We parked the car and checked in. There was no one else in the lobby. We waited about 15 min before someone came to get us; in the meantime I ate a string cheese since I hadn't really had an appetite and didn't eat since lunch. Rookie mistake. We got called back, we walked in to the labor and delivery room 9, saw a tiny bed with a hat and swaddles. It was all surreal. We knew logically a little guy would be joining soon, but we were having a hard time believing the reality of it.

The nurse got the IV started, they hooked me up to monitors, and started the foley bulb and low dose pitocin at 10 pm. At the last doctor's office check, I was 1.5 cm dilated. The foley bulb was to stay in until 3 to 4 cm dilation. Minor contractions started around midnight. I was to stay on the bed because they needed me to be hooked to the monitor. The bed was incredibly uncomfortable and I really wanted to get up and walk around. The IV was repositioned twice. They kept having me switch positions to make sure baby was on the monitor. It was not the most comfortable but I was still fine. At 1:04 pm the foley bulb was removed; contractions continued; I was checked and was 3 cm dilated.

At 5:53 am contractions were 3 to 5 min apart and I was tolerating them pretty well. I was strongly advocating to move around but doc needed to come in to check me out. Shift change was happening around 7 so they said I'd get an answer around then. I texted my doula to update her. At 8:10 am I was getting desperate to get out of the bed because I was so uncomfortable. I was frustrated that they wouldn't let me get up and that they promised a doctor would be in but hasn't come.

At 10:45 am they did an internal exam that was just brutal. I hate that PA now. It was so, so painful I was sobbing through it, after it took my breath away completely. I still have nightmares about that memory and tear up when I think about how much it hurt. I realize after the fact that they also placed an internal monitor for contractions better. They kept repositioning me due to decels in the baby's heart rate. They said if decels continue they'll put me on oxygen. The doctor broke my water and I was now completely confined to the bed because of prolapse risk.

By noon I was on oxygen after being repositioned several more times. It didn't feel like anything was progressing and they weren't happy with baby's heart rate. We got the epidural in and it was not as bad as I thought. I was more scared than in pain, but the anesthesiologist was incredible. I didn't have pain but was also not completely numb. By 3:30 pm I was checked again and it was still stalled at 3 cm. At that point they lowered the pitocin to 8 from 9 and the conversation about a c section started.

The doctor came to see us around 4 pm. They said that it was our choice to either keep laboring or start the preps for the c section. They didn't like that every time I contracted the heart rate would take a tiny dip. If the baby wasn't tolerating contractions at 3 cm, there was concern that when the real contractions at 8 or 9 cm would be then it would become an emergency. We didn't want to risk it and so we agreed to the c section. In hindsight, it was the right decision because the cord was wrapped around the baby in such a way that it would have become dangerous. We couldn't possibly know that at the time, but it was validating to know that after the fact.

They started preps for c section at 4:30 pm. I changed my tichel to something lighter that would stay on, my husband went to get suited up, our doula helped pack our stuff. A nurse came wheel me to the OR. The team got me ready and then they called my husband in. More epidural was administered, I got an oxygen mask, and they started checking what I feel. Within minutes, there was a lot of pressure as someone pushed down on my torso and someone else pulled the baby out and suddenly there was a cry. Our son was officially here. Before handing him off to the pediatrician the doctor brought him over the curtain to say hello. My doula got this all recorded for us. Both my husband and I were crying. We had a baby. It was such an incredibly feeling of joy and disbelief that this actually happened. That he was here. That we had zero regrets about the c section, even though it's major abdominal surgery. He was wrapped up and given to my husband. Baby was born at 4:59 pm, barely half an hour after we decided about the c section.

I called my mother from the operating room to announce the news. Crying, I told her we have a son. They were still stitching me up but I couldn't wait to share the news. I also knew my family was waiting for updates, since I was texting them all day. Before going in I made it clear that I didn't want anyone in the waiting room because it would put pressure on me to have them in the room and that wasn't something I wanted, so the compromise was that I'd text updates regularly. It worked out well. At some point the baby got taken away to get checked and my husband went with them.

Once they were done sewing and taping up the area I was asked to scootch onto another bed. My legs were still numb but I could feel them somewhat. I tried to help as best I could but it still took a few docs and nurses to get me on the new bed. I was wheeled into the recovery area where my baby and husband were already with all our stuff. It was 5:45 pm and we were scheduled to be there for two hours. Our recovery nurses were fabulous. One was the same nurse as was in delivery, and the other was the same great nurse from the night before when I started labor. The doula was there and helping me try to breastfeed. Baby latched on immediately and sucked so well. A champ from the get-go. After a little bit I started feeling light-headed and very nauseous. I asked for medication for the nausea and water. I asked the doula to take the baby because I wasn't confident in my strength. She lowered the bed, dimmed the lights, and got me water. Slowly I was starting to recover. I wasn't allowed to eat and I had the compression things on my legs. Within the hour I had full use of my legs and I was ready to walk around but I wasn't allowed off the bed. My parents came, one at a time escorted by my husband, to meet the new baby who was barely an hour old at the time. We started notifying people individually. It was important to me to get to the list of people we wanted to let know before posting it online publicly.

My husband went to get some food and got lost on the way back. At 7:45 pm I was ready to feed the baby but they asked me to wait until I get to postpartum where the nurses will help. They wanted to wheel him to the nursery on his own but I wasn't comfortable letting him out of my sight. We waited a few min until my husband got back and they went together to the nursery while I got wheeled to postpartum recovery. We got a room with a full bathroom, side bed/couch for my husband and a mini-fridge. We had more family come visit, took a bunch of pictures, the baby eventually came back from the nursery and we spent the first night as a family together. I sent him back to the nursery rarely, maybe once or twice, because they kept needing to check him or do things but I mainly wanted to keep him with me. I waited so long for my baby, I wanted to take care of him. I still wasn't allowed to eat or get out of bed. I recognized I still couldn't take care of him while stuck to the bed so let him go when they came for him.

They were monitoring the catheter and I was told that if my output was good overnight I may be able to eat in the morning. I wasn't allowed to even dangle my legs off the side of the bed until morning. I was hot and sweaty in the compression sleeves on my legs but they insisted on keeping them on. I wanted to get to the public post before midnight so that it would have his birthday and I got it up by 11:58 pm. Overnight the nurses who came to get him mentioned something about his blood sugar being low and how they may need to supplement with formula. Then it was that they needed to give him sugar gel to get the numbers higher. They checked the levels with a heel prick every three hours. He needed to get a 45 or above, and the numbers were just below, sometimes 41, sometimes in the 30s. At one point he got a 50-something and we thought it was on the upswing. He needed 3 consecutive tests at 45 or above to be cleared. Overnight I drank tons of water and got the all-clear to get the catheter removed, do the leg dangle, and get my IV capped. I was also allowed to walk to the bathroom so I finally got rid of those compression sleeves.

On Thursday around 11 am the nursery nurse said I should call the pediatrician. In short, his sugar levels were still too low and they wanted to send him to the NICU. We had a room full of family when I was talking to the pediatrician. I sent my husband with the baby to get settled in the NICU while I got dressed. Luckily I was mobile and could go also, but they insisted on giving me a wheelchair. My sister went up with my husband and the baby; my mother stayed with me. We were all up in the NICU while baby was getting situated with an IV and initial exam.

The next few days were a blur of 3 hour chunks. Baby needed to eat every three hours to get his blood sugar stable but my milk still hadn't come in, so we started formula. I was pumping with the hospital grade pump every three hours but still only getting barely drops of colostrum. They ask you to label everything you pump and at one point it was literally just a drop so I asked the nurse "Is this worth wasting a sticker?" to which she responded, every drop is gold. We ended up syringing it and giving it to the baby at his next feeding. He latched sporadically and sometimes sucked but mainly fell asleep at the breast. More formula was given. Baby had to eat and I didn't have milk yet.

They had him on sugar water through IV. They wanted to stabilize his levels. Once they were stable, they started weening him off slowly. Once he was totally weened off the IV, they wanted to observe him for 24 hours. He got his levels checked through a heel prick every three hours before a feeding. His heels were full of bandaids and little cuts.

I was healing fine from the c section. If I was in pain, I didn't really feel it because I was focused on my baby. I was walking to and from the NICU every three hours and my feet swelled up to tree trunks. I was on motrin every six hours. I'd spend hours in the NICU to the point that the nurses at postpartum would call up and ask me to come down to get my vitals checked. I was technically still a patient. My doctor saw me on Friday morning and said I could go home. I was cleared to drive; I was fine. But because I had a c section I was entitled to four nights and so I was able to stay in the hospital with my baby. My husband went home on Friday to shower and gather some more clothes and supplies for shabbat. We were going to spend our first shabbat as a family in the hospital.

We were both discharged on Sunday afternoon, hours before second days of chag. His sugar levels were stable and they were comfortable letting us go home on the condition that we went back to the pediatrician the next morning to check his bilirubin since it was borderline. We got home and it was so chilly. The weather had changed drastically in the days we were in the hospital. My family came to say a quick hello, then we got ready for chag. It was a lovely evening at home together. We were still living in three hour chunks. There was nothing set up in the house for him. My sister dropped off a bassinet and some clothes for us to borrow. We had a pack of diapers and wipes that we took home from the hospital. We spent the first night in the living room with him in the bassinet and me on the couch.

The next morning I packed him up to go to the pediatrician. It was a regular Monday morning for everyone, except that it was also Yom Tov. It was strange breaking chag but it was for a tiny 5 day old infant - I felt zero guilt at all. Because he wasn't needed for any medical purposes, my husband stayed home for the appointment. We saw the pediatrician's PA who did an exam and stuck his heel to check bilirubin levels. She also gave me formula and said to keep feeding him every three hours, even to wake him up to eat, so that the bilirubin levels can decrease as he pees and poops. She said that for his age she wants the number to be under 19 and that she'll call me in the afternoon with results. I got the call at 3:30 pm that his number came back at 19.7 and that they wanted us to go back to the hospital to get it rechecked. I panicked and said he was about to eat should we go immediately and the response was, no to get him fed and changed and then head over. Even though I knew logically it was no big deal - that even if he did need to be treated it was just with lights - I freaked out. I couldn't stop sobbing and crying out "my baby boy" and hugging him and kissing him. We pulled our shit together enough to get to the hospital and checked in at 4:30 pm. They took us back within a few minutes to do an initial exam and to get bloodwork. They said it would be about an hour before getting results and that we should hang out in the waiting room.

We waited in the waiting room, with the rest of the sick population. And waited. And waited. At 6:30 I started getting antsy because I had to pump and feed and change him. There was nowhere to go and there was no sight of anyone telling us what's happening. What were the levels? Are we even getting admitted? What is happening? I went to the concierge desk and tried to get information. I was told we were next on the list but that there were no clean rooms with no one even close to being discharged. I didn't like that info but the more pressing issue was that I needed to pump and feed him so I asked for a pump. Out of nowhere he procures a pump and I asked if I'm supposed to pump in the middle of the waiting room. He gets a key and lets us go in a side room. Finally, away from the gross sick people. But there was no bathroom or sink to be able to wash pump parts. There was no surface for me to change the baby. I didn't know how to use the pump - it was an industrial-looking thing that I've never seen before. Granted, I was barely a week into my entire pumping experience. I panicked and had a severe meltdown. I cried to my husband and poor him had no idea how to help. He went to go try to get some help but there was literally no one. I got the tears out of my system and kicked into mama bear mode. I called the hospital lactation 24/7 line and left a tearful message asking for help with the pump. I called my doula to see if she can help. Then I just took a minute to read the instructions on the side of the pump - Oh. So easy. I was able to set up and pump in minutes. Meanwhile I fed the baby with formula I had in the bag. I put my sweater down on the chair and changed his poopy diaper. Within 30 min he was fed, clean, and dry. I wrapped him up in his blanket and then held him on my chest wrapped in my clothes. It was cold in the room. At this point it was past 8:30 and we still didn't know what was happening. We went to go rattle some cages. We got a tech to give us an update - they're cleaning a room now and we should get called within 20 min. When that didn't happen I called the pediatrician on call. I asked her to look into whether we even need to stay or not - what were the blood results?? She said that it's very unusual to have this wait and if that's what's happening then it's because there are multiple emergencies more urgent than ours that are getting called back before us using the rooms. I cried on the phone that our baby is 5 freaking days old and he shouldn't be waiting in the waiting room with gross sick people for hours on end! She said she'll call to see what's going on but there's likely nothing she can do. She tried to make me understand that leaving isn't the better option because the baby needs to be under the lights. After hanging up with her I got a call from our doula who said she contacted the director and "you didn't hear this from me" but his blood levels were at 19.5 (so declining, yay, but still too high for his age) and that he is getting admitted so to sit tight. By 9:40 I had enough, left baby with my husband, and went to ask for a charge nurse. I wanted answers and I wanted them RIGHT NOW.

Instead of getting to speak with a nurse, someone came out to get us. Finally. We packed up our stuff and headed back. The tech kept saying how nasty the room was and that's why it took so long to clean up. That's not what you want to hear when you're about to go into a room for the next who-knows-how-long with your tiny infant. I didn't want to hear that. I told her to please stop telling us how gross the room was. She's like no but it was cleaned... I didn't care. Stop.

At 10 pm our baby was stripped down to the diaper and put under lights. He hated being cold and naked. The sunglasses they put on him to protect his eyes kept moving and bothering him. I hated seeing him shivering. I knew, logically, that this was the best for him. But all he wanted was to snuggle and all I wanted was to snuggle him and keep him warm and safe. We had a rough night with none of us sleeping very well. As we were falling asleep, my husband said that maybe tomorrow we can figure out how to make kiddush. Oh right - it was still yom tov.

At 7 am they checked his bilirubin again. Result came back at 13 - hooray. The doctor decided to keep him under the lights until 10 am to have a full 12 hours under the lights, then check again before turning the lights off. Once he was off lights for 6 to 8 hours they'll check again to make sure it doesn't rebound before releasing us. Throughout the day we visited the Bikur Cholim room which supplied us with food and everything we needed to have a seudat chag. It's such a huge mitzvah. We spent the day snuggling and singing to our baby. My husband even did some hakafot for Simchat Torah. At 5 pm they checked again and we got the results around 7 that it was still 13 so we were good to go. By the time we packed up and took everything to the car it was 8:30 pm.

The next morning, Wednesday, we were back at the pediatrician's office for our 1 week appointment and met our pediatrician in person for the first time. The first time we spoke was the prior Thursday when she explained to me that she was recommending sending the baby to the NICU for his sugar levels. She said he looked great and didn't need to prick his heel again. She said medically he's cleared for a bris and that if we wanted to we could have it that day. We spoke with the mohel who said that halachically they don't do a bris until a week after IV comes out, so we were having a delayed bris regardless. But we were cleared to have it on Sunday so we started making plans.

The bris was on Sunday. We basically planned an entire event in one day between Wed afternoon and Thursday. Once we finalized the mohel, we got centerpieces, a caterer, venue, and photographer. We send out notifications throughout the three days and even up until Sat night I was sending it out. I didn't want to forget anyone but I'm sure I did and I hope no one takes it personally. There was no way to know how many people were going to come. We paid the caterer up to 100 guests and it was full to the point that they needed to add tables. This was even with the lots of people letting me know that they were regretfully unable to attend bc of last min notice or previously scheduled plans.

It was a beautiful event and an incredible simcha. I was on diaper duty post circumcision because everyone else tagged out. That's ok. It's my absolute pleasure to take care of my baby. It healed fully within a week.

We were back at the pediatrician for his two week appointment. His birth weight was 7 lbs 12.5 oz. At his one week appointment he was 7 lbs 9 oz, that was after losing weight at the hospital and back on the upswing. At his two week appointment he was at 8 lbs 3 oz and we were given the all-clear to stop waking him up to eat. That was great news to hear.

I contacted the hospital to file a formal complaint about the unacceptable wait in the waiting room with a 5 day old infant.

At his three week birthday, he's sleeping in 4-5 hour stretches and eating about 3-4 oz (90 - 110 cc) like a champ. We're back to working on breastfeeding after being lazy for a bit. Trying to figure out how to get diapers changed without getting hosed on. Also trying to figure out how to trim his nails safely. His bellybutton stump fell off and he's already outgrown some newborn outfits. There have been some weepy spells for how quickly my baby is growing up. Overall still feeling so, so grateful and happy. Have definitely learned some lessons for next time, if we're ever lucky enough to do this again.