Appreciation and Connection

There are parts of human nature that are similar across all people regardless of color, race, culture, background, or socioeconomic status. I say this authoritatively as an expert in nothing based only on my own experiences. As social beings, people need to feel heard, recognized, and appreciated. Some need more than others, and some deserve more than others.

This came up recently during a work event. My team was tagged on fb and we received accolades for a job well done on a recent event. I didn't expect the recognition and certainly didn't feel like I deserved it for doing my job, but it was nice to be recognized. A coworker from another department who assisted with this project felt resentful and hurt that she received no public recognition. As part of her job, she probably spent about 30% of her time on this project compared to 100% of the time my team spent on it. My initial reaction was to be irked this person complained about not being thanked but I tried keeping an open mind and putting myself in that situation to see how I would feel if I was left out and felt unappreciated.

I think it's important to show appreciation and I also believe that kindness goes a long way. The world is a better place when things aren't tit-for-tat, where kindness flows freely and expectations aren't self-centered. In her mind she was owed just as much acknowledgment as we were and those needs weren't met. It may or may not be a distorted view or reality but it was her truth and her feelings were hurt.

In a world where people like Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain are suffering silently to the point that their families are shocked and confused at their sudden passing, there needs to be more kindness and less judgement. More reaching out to people, more listening, more taking out time to connect with people, more compassion. More asking people "How are you?" and being genuinely interested in the answer instead of using that phrase as a passive greeting.

When people stop caring so much about themselves and start caring about others then everyone wins. I'll try to remember that next time instead of being annoyed at someone's need for recognition.