Pages

Thursday, April 28, 2016

Is everyone pregnant?

I used to think I'm not the jealous type. Lately I've noticed that when people announce their engagements, I mentally calculate and assume they, too, will be parents before us. It's a terrible habit I need to cut out but I noticed that I do it automatically.

One person I'm friends with on Facebook was known for complaining about her dating life and how she wasn't getting anywhere with all the losers she was dating. Those rant posts would come up on my newsfeed regularly for nearly three or four years. Then she got married and nearly instantaneously the rants turned to frustrated parenting posts. Unfollow.

There's another couple who got married a week after us and got pregnant on their wedding night. They now have four children and post frequent sweet family photos. Unfollow.

Two of the four other childless couples in my friend circle on fb have succeeded in having healthy pregnancies and are now parents. The third one got pregnant and kept it quiet on social media, trying to be sensitive to others still struggling, but someone else spilled the beans on her wall so now it's out. The forth couple is struggling with multiple losses and I know they've gone through IVF and PGD -- I hope that some of that Facebook baby dust is contagious and that they get their miracle baby soon. I noticed that the IVF awareness articles bother me as much as the family pictures. I don't want it to be relevant to me, I don't want to be different. Unfollow.

I have a friend who got divorced a year after I got married. She focused on school and career and in the meantime her ex got married and had a kid. I know her childlessness is different than mine, but I also know it hurts her to think what her life could have been like today had things worked out differently. She's dating someone seriously now (almost 7 years later) and I'm already doing the math in my head...

There's no way to Unfollow people in real life. You can only avoid it to a degree. Can't avoid it at the grocery store. Can't avoid it at work. Can't avoid it at shul where the preg ratio is probably 1:3 of healthy female adults.

So... if you can't beat 'em, join 'em! Working on it ;)

2 comments:

  1. I have these thoughts all the time. You aren't alone. My husbands cousin got engaged earlier this year, and their wedding is Fall 2017 and I am already assuming they will have kids before us. I felt excited for like 5 seconds then immediately had those thoughts... Lol.

    ReplyDelete
  2. At least we still feel excited! Even if it's fleeting, it's nice to be genuinely happy for others. Regardless of what happens, I hope that never leaves me.

    ReplyDelete

Labels

# (1) #chroniclesofacoworker (1) #enjoythewait (2) #microblogmondays (7) #oneatatime (2) 10lbs plan (16) 2016 (1) 2017 (4) 2018 (1) 2ww (17) AC (2) acupuncture (2) adult (1) all or nothing (3) Amazon (1) anxiety (28) appointment (1) baby names (1) back pain (2) badass (1) baseline (3) beach (1) bedroom (2) benefits (1) beta (7) biopsy (5) birthday (8) blessed (1) blogs (4) blood pressure (3) bloodwork (33) book club (1) bugs (1) busy (2) cardiologist (2) career (8) carpe diem (3) CD138 (5) challenge (2) changes (2) chemical pregnancy (7) control (2) cost (2) coverage (2) cramps (6) crime (1) crown (6) D&C (3) diet (22) dream (2) egg retrieval (12) embryos (27) EMMA (4) endo scratch (5) endocrinologist (8) endometritis (1) ENT (1) ERA (31) ERA II (6) eyes (4) Facebook (5) fear of failure (4) FET #3 (22) FET #4 (26) FET #5 (27) FET #6 (19) FET #7 (1) FET prep (42) fitness (1) food (4) friends (2) furniture (4) Game of Thrones (1) gassy (2) glucose/insulin (2) goals (8) guests (2) gym (3) halacha (5) healthy menu (4) heart (2) hobbies (4) holiday (3) home (1) home decor (11) hopeful (13) HPT (7) HSG (2) Hurricane Matthew (1) hysteroscopy (10) imwithher (1) incident (1) insulin (1) insurance (12) interview (2) island (2) Israel (3) IVF #3 (13) IVF #4 (14) IVF #5 (24) IVF #6 (17) IVF #7 (15) IVF #8 (13) IVF tips (3) IVF treatment (42) job (3) journey (2) Judaism (1) juggling (1) lining (2) loss (2) lucky (1) mail fraud (2) mattress (2) medication (3) membership (1) mental health (1) MitoScore (1) mole (2) money (2) moody (2) natural cycle (1) nesting (1) new york (2) non-IVF (6) November 2016 (2) numb (2) olympics (2) p'ru urvu (1) pain (3) passion project (1) passover (11) path (2) patience (4) perspective (3) pesach (19) PGD (14) phase (1) PIO (9) plan (2) pop (2) pottery (4) prayer (1) pregnant (15) pupo (20) purim (3) reconstruction (4) remodeling (3) research (1) resolutions (2) responsibility (1) results (21) road map (2) roof (1) root canal (2) Rosh Hashana (4) RPL (8) sac (1) sad (6) Shabbat (5) sharing news (1) shavuot (4) shots (1) snow (1) social media (2) social media cringe (2) special (1) specialist (3) spending (1) spring (1) stain test (3) staycation (1) stress (1) sukkot (2) summer (4) support (5) surgery (1) Survivor (3) symptoms (40) Tdap (1) terrific trio (1) testing (3) Thankful (3) therapy (4) thinner in 30 (1) thoughtless (1) thoughts (22) thyroid (6) timeline (5) tips (1) trigger (2) trip (13) TTC (3) TV (4) ultrasound (20) update (8) upgrade (1) vacation (12) varicocele (2) vegging (3) waiting (26) warm feet (1) Wegmans (2) willpower (3) wishlist (1) work (9) work politics (3) workout (3) worry (13) yoatzot (1) zika (5)