Tisha B'Av

Spotting started on Thursday evening with AF on Friday. I emailed my nurse to get an updated protocol for September. It's the same whether we do an FET or a second ERA but it's better to get on the schedule sooner rather than later because the lab calendar fills up and there's more flexibility the sooner you schedule. My nurse is on vacation this week but the nurse covering for her sent me the info and said we'll just tweak it if necessary, depending on ERA results. I didn't understand if that meant we're doing an FET regardless or if we'll tweak it based on the ERA results for when we repeat it. I didn't press the issue because that will be answered when we get ERA results.

Today is Tisha B'Av. I'm usually a pretty good faster but it's more difficult during my period. I feel drained and thirsty. It's also 100 degrees outside so I've been home avoiding unnecessary movement.

I placed the laziest grocery order ever. I went online on Amazon Prime Now and saw what they had available in my zip code. I was able to get almost my entire regular shopping: fruits, vegetables, milk, yogurt, some fun salad toppings, OJ, and bottled water. I was craving orange juice for after the fast but didn't want to go out which is what inspired the order, and then I had to fulfill the $20 minimum to get free delivery. So easy. It was at my door in ice packs within two hours.

Amazon also came out with Amazon Fresh but that costs more money where as Prime Now is included in regular Prime membership.  I think Fresh has more options but this was perfect for what I needed today. The groceries I bought were more expensive item-for-item (i.e., $4.19 for a 24-pack of water instead of $3.49 I usually spend) but overall I saved money from not getting extra things not on my list like I normally do at the store.

Last week I started applying for jobs. I've debated for a while about my job (see Leaning In and Weepy) and I think it's time to face reality. As much as I hope a pregnancy is just around the corner, it may not be happening that quickly. While there are a lot of perks to my current job, I just can't deny the fact that I'm ready for a change and I don't see room for growth.

If I were to get pregnant, it makes sense to stay put and have the flexibility in a job I already know. I still don't regret giving fertility treatment the priority over my career. I still have 30+ years of career ahead of me and I can afford to cruise for a year or two while I build up my resume.

A few opportunities presented themselves and I decided that it doesn't hurt to apply. I have a number in my mind that I'd be willing to give up my current job for and if the new job offers it, I see that as a win-win. I have no interest in wasting their time or mine with an interview so I am seriously considering a switch if it makes sense overall.  I know that they are interested in someone with my background and skill set and thought it might be a good fit. The job is a lot less customer-service oriented and more about numbers and spreadsheets -- definitely my cup of tea. I'm the nerd who took an extra statistics class as an elective in college. Just for fun.

So we'll see. There are a lot of pros to my current job and it would have to be a great opportunity to leave it, but I'd be dumb not to even consider something new just because of my current job's perks. I have my annual review coming up at the end of August. If I have a new offer at that point I can use is as leverage for a higher salary, but is that what I want?  I have time to think about it.

In other news, my palm started twitching weirdly at the base of the thumb. I googled it and of course the answer was hand cancer, epilepsy, or the start of Parkinson's. OMG relax Google. I decided to see if I'm doing anything specific to trigger it and realized I was using the mousepad on my laptop with my thumb as the anchor which keeps the muscle tight for long period of time. Stopped doing it and the twitching stopped. Thanks Google.