On the Road Again

Our doctor is convinced that we have great quality embryos, good lining, and just need a bit of luck to get one to stick. According to him it's a numbers thing and the more times we try the more likely one will work. Sure, he has 20+ years of experience and multiple accolades in his profession, and maybe he's right. But I feel like I have to DO something.

We had three FET transfers. Three. Each one had a perfect uterine lining and a top quality PGS-tested day 6 blast transferred. Each one was perfectly timed and medicated per protocol. Only one stuck and even that ended in a chemical pregnancy.

In my mind, that is unacceptable. Some may say that if we were a "regular couple" that's the equivalent of trying 3 months in a row and doesn't it usually take at least a year of trying? To those people I say SHUT UP. Not really. I actually say: people trying naturally aren't timing it to the minute. People trying naturally don't know what their uterine lining looks like or its exact measurement. Trying naturally also doesn't filter out the embryos that are by nature incompatible with life or otherwise not in top shape.

It can't be anything to do with diet or health because women across the globe get pregnant all the time. Women who smoke, eat fried food, allergic to pineapple, addicted to crack, have 100 extra lbs on their body, with cold feet, or high blood pressure all get pregnant. So it's clearly something else.

I get conflicting thoughts when I hear of someone else announcing their pregnancy, especially another person in the IVF trenches. On one hand it's enormous joy and a secret glee: "If it can happen to her with all her issues, it can happen for me!" On the other hand I'm thinking that's one less miracle baby available for me. As if there's a quota of babies upstairs and dolling them out means less for everyone else to pick from. Both thoughts are insanely ridiculous, I'm fully aware of the absurdity. It's not only narcissistic to think that my future is directly linked to other people, but that also the world revolves around me and every act affects my life. It may be insane, but then so are superstitions and we still can't help ourselves, but I digress....

At our last wtf appointment, the doctor listed our options but not before starting with saying that he thinks the protocol is accurate and nothing needs to be changed. He offered doing an RPL workup, the ERA biopsy, or an endo scratch. He strongly advised against transferring more than one embryo because of the risk of multiples. He gently suggested that getting to a healthy weight is always helpful. I get that. I agree that it's true and I believe he said it because there literally was nothing else medically preventing a pregnancy.

So do we continue "just trying" forever? No. We will try something different every time! My way or bust!!!! Not really, but it makes me feel better to think I'm in some control.

First, we did the RPL workup. It's a simple blood test and there's no reason it's not part of the prelim testing done before you even start. Done. No issues found.

Second, we agreed that spending the time and money on an ERA biopsy was worth it. There's no point in wasting precious embryos on a transfer if we have the day wrong. Even if we hear back that the timeline is correct, at least it we have peace of mind and not wonder the what ifs in case the next one fails.

Third, if the ERA comes back that the timeline is accurate as is, we will try the endo scratch. We have nothing to lose.

If the ERA comes back that the timeline needs to be adjusted, we will adjust based on the recommendation and not do an endo scratch in that cycle - you can change only one variable each time. Like a science experiment! With my uterus! How fun!

That's the road map. If we still don't get pregnant after that, we're back to square one and have to think about IVF #5.