Patience

Bloodwork from the RPL workup came back all within normal range. I would have been surprised if we got any other news since we never had any reason to believe otherwise. I'm still glad we did it now anyway and got a definite answer.

I also ordered meds and got the timeline for the ERA biopsy. Originally the first date they had open was mid-August. I have a patience problem as it is, but even more so having to wait so many weeks for a non-transfer, delaying a potential transfer even more. My nurse said she'll try for an earlier date if the schedule allows and an opening became available in early August so we got that date.

I'm trying not to stress about time. I know I have a patience problem and stressing about it doesn't help. I'm working on it. It's been a long year with a lot of treatment so what's another month for the ERA biopsy. I've gone back and forth regarding pros and cons so many times I've started second guessing its necessity.

The reason we're doing this test is to verify the "transfer window." There is a window between days 4 and 6 of your [medicated] cycle for an embryo to stick, so all transfers happen on day 5 per protocol. For some women, their body responds differently and their uterus is more receptive on another day. The ERA biopsy will give one of these results: receptive or non-receptive. If we get back a receptive answer, then we'll know that the protocol has the ideal time to transfer. If we get non-receptive, the results may point to a more optimum timetable and the doctor will repeat the cycle again based on the personalized window of time to implant. Supposedly you're supposed to repeat the test until you get a receptive answer. My doctor said that he's never had to do it more than twice on someone. The paperwork I've read on it has stats that show 74% of women get receptive the first time, and 26% get non-receptive with a recommendation for a suggested window. About 1% of women tested get back an answer saying non-receptive without any suggestion for a new window to try.

Either we find out I'm receptive on day 5 and we can transfer knowing it's the right day; or we find out that we've been transferring on the wrong day all along and hopefully get a new chance at success with a modified protocol more adapted to my body. My husband and I, as well as everyone we've discussed this with, all agree that it's worth going through this process to verify the transfer window. It's worth the time, the expense, and the delay for a chance at piece of mind.

Some days I don't know what's keeping me motivated. Some days I wish we can go back to "normal" life before treatment, or fast forward to post-treatment and on to the next stage of our life that includes kids. Sometimes being in treatment, and thinking about all the what-ifs and playing out all the scenarios and pros and cons of the next steps can be mentally exhausting. Even so, or maybe partially because of that, I am motivated and determined to do everything in our ability to make this happen. The rest is nature, luck, and maybe a little smile from Hashem.