ERA progress

The weekend was nice; rainy and low key. There was a major storm on Saturday afternoon/eve that caused major flooding in nearby areas. It didn't affect us directly other than some flickering lights, but the pictures coming out of the affected neighborhoods are insane.

Fifth shot of DE was on Sat night and tomorrow is the appointment for lining check. I have to remember to drink a lot tonight and tomorrow morning before the appointment in an attempt to help with the bloodwork.

Today I was with my closest group of friends and the conversation steered toward baby names. One was saying something to the effect of, "I was thinking of this name... but you can't steal it!" to which the others responded with, "First come, first serve!" In other words, if you want dibs on a name you gotta have the baby and name it. I joined in the conversation and joked along with everyone, but somewhere inside I was really sad. Specifically because this is a conversation my husband and I have often - we like discussing names and in nearly 10 years of being together we've never agreed on a name we love. Still, it feels like a "safe" topic that allows us to talk about the future without triggering too much emotion.

Everyone in today's group knows about our struggle but for some reason it didn't occur to anyone that this might be a sensitive issue for me. I wouldn't have known either until it was. I can't expect them never to talk about these things and it's not like any of the names my husband and I discussed came up, but still. When one person with a 6-month-old joked that she better get started on her next baby to reserve her name of choice it reminded me that we're still no where near a transfer date.

I'm tired. I'm tried of waiting. I'm tired of wanting. I'm tired of disappointment. I'm tired of the same newsreel over and over again. I'm ready for a change of story and a happy plot twist.