Procedure scheduled

I talked with my doctor about scheduling the D&C for Friday. He said that there's a very slight chance that, depending on how many retrievals are scheduled, I might get bumped to the next day. The next business day is Tuesday. That's just not a risk I'm willing to take and ended up asking to schedule me for whatever is first available.

My nurse was out today so her backup, which I really like, called me. She was the first to ask me how I'm feeling. She explained the procedure and let me know what to expect.

They put me on the schedule for Wednesday morning. I'm worried about how long it will take to get my period back. Weird to worry about wanting a bleed when for so long that's all I prayed I wouldn't see in every bathroom trip. One step at a time; first we need to close the chapter on this.

It hurts me that my husband is sad. Our families are so pained by our grief. I'm numb at this point. I have to be able to push it back to be able to go several hours without crying. I assume I'll be crying a lot on Wednesday when I have whatever we thought was our baby scraped out.

Our embryo went through PGS testing but we're still asking them to test the tissue. Any data we can gather is information we can potentially use in the future. Although I'm not sure what new information they will tell us, considering we transferred a genetically normal embryo, clearly something was wrong and if it's possible to show up via testing we want to know about it.

I'm anxious about the procedure and worried about all the potential complications. I'm worried about recovery. Sad about the whole thing.