Feeling better

I made an appointment for Monday's bloodwork. Even though I usually skip this in person, I also scheduled what's commonly referred to as the WTF appointment to reassess before moving forward. The first available appointment my doc had was July 14. I asked if he was available sooner at a different location and got an appointment for July 5. Just goes to show that you should always ask.

I have been researching and making a list of questions and tests to ask about. Hysteroscopy, ERA, thyroid levels, prolactin levels, Vitamin D, natural FET, transferring more than one embryo, and endo scratch. I'm sure the list will grow by July 5. My husband can't come to the appointment because of work so I'm debating whether to go alone or bring someone with me to have a second set of ears in the room. Maybe my mother will come.

My BMI is within the acceptable range for treatment but from everything I've researched, there's a high correlation with miscarriage and high BMI. Since this is something within my control, I would like to lose 10 lbs before the next transfer. Ironically, I've been so anxious and depressed these past few days that I lost the last three lbs from my previous 10 lb plan. So I'm off to a good start. I'm considering joining the gym again even though I've been ok with exercising at home. Something to consider in the coming days.

I also spoke to my general gyn doctor who I've had as my doc for over twelve years. I love her. She's the best. I called her to bring her up to speed and get her opinion on where things stand. It's been at least a year since I last saw her so I started by giving a quick reminder of our situation and before I could finish the first sentence, she finished it for me. She not only had my chart in front of her but she'd also reviewed it before calling me - how refreshing! So different than my RE.

In short, she said we did "only" three cycles and while it's a bummer that it didn't work out that's no indication that there's anything wrong. For couples trying naturally, they're told to try at least a year (12 times) before assuming there's an issue. Even though we're getting high grade embryos and the chances increase with fertility treatment, they're nowhere near 100% and there's no guarantee of a take-home baby. Logically, I knew this is true but it was helpful to hear it from an experienced professional.

We chatted a little more and she was clear to tell me when things were beyond her expertise (like when I asked her opinion on doing an ERA) which helps me put more credibility on the opinions she does give. It made me feel better to speak with her because she's so professional and patient, even though she's not a generally warm and fuzzy kind of person. While I was on the phone with her I felt like I had her complete attention and that my questions were her top priority at the moment. I hope I graduate from the RE and move on to her soon.

I fell asleep exhausted last night at 7:40 PM and woke up several times at night to cry. I went in to work today because I have a deadline coming up, but everyone pretty much left me alone because they think I'm nursing a migraine hangover. Perfect, worked for me. At about 3:00 PM I started feeling faint, hearing people through a tunnel, really dizzy and nauseous. I realized I hadn't eaten since lunch yesterday and that was barely a string cheese and a banana. Luckily I caught it and ate before fainting. That would have been awkward to explain. I'm tired again and ready for the weekend.

I spent some time cooking for shabbat today and made vegetable lo mein, baked breaded fish, broccoli quiche, and chocolate cake. Then I took out some stress scrubbing the dishes. I'm looking forward to the weekend just being home recuperating and recharging.

Shabbat shalom.