4w1d

I finally connected with my nurse late this afternoon. We played phone tag and then emailed a few times before she caught me on my way out of work.

She gave me an overview of the next couple of weeks and what we can expect, assuming things continue to progress. They want to see me for bloodwork every 3-4 days now. They want the numbers to at least double every time. Once the number reaches at least 2000, they do an ultrasound to determine the placement of the sac. After that I do an ultrasound every ten days for a total of 3. At that point, usually around 8 to 10 weeks, they release to the OB. Shots continue until that time.

I asked about the cramping and she said it's normal, even if it's intense at times. She said I should be concerned if it's localized to one side, if there's bleeding, if I feel clammy, or don't feel well otherwise because those are indications of an ectopic pregnancy.

I also asked about what happens if the number doesn't double on Thursday or beyond. She says that if it's close to double they'll consider it progressing, but if it only rises a little bit then they consider it stalled and that they would expect it to expel naturally. If not, they give a shot to help the body expel it. It sounded like she mentioned a drug given to cancer patients to make fast-growing cells stop growing, which make sense and sounds like a nightmare. It would be a shot given in the office, so it's serious business. They trust us with the PIOs so how horrible can this one be that they need the professionals to administer it. She wanted to answer my questions but at the same time felt the need to calm me down by saying let's take it one step at a time.

I told her I was concerned about the low number because I know that they usually like to see numbers slightly higher. She said that it's true, they do like to see numbers closer to 100 on the first beta but that she has seen cases where it's lower and the pregnancy still progresses normally. As long as it doubles at the next bloodwork and so on then the first number shouldn't affect anything. Still, I don't like hearing that the number is low.

At the end of the conversation when I was really rattled at all the things that could go wrong, I jokingly said, "So at no time do I get to sigh in relief?" and her response was, "Welcome to motherhood - this is forever!" So true.

At this point I'm just overall worried. I also stupidly took a HPT to try to reassure myself everything was still fine and got a super faint line, probably because my pee was so diluted from a day's worth of drinking. But seeing that faint line after hearing all the things that can go wrong just made me so sad and scared and worried.

There are no guarantees and I know this can be over in an instant. I hope it continues to grow and result in a happy healthy baby.

Grow, baby. Grow!