FET 6: Beta #2 (3/12/18)

This post was originally written on the date in the subject line. All posts for FET 6 were saved as drafts and posted together as a series on one day. Read more here. 

Today is 5w1d aka 17dp6dt.

I went in for bloodwork this morning and they got it on the first stick - yay! I waited anxiously for results which came shortly before noon: beta came back at 2738. Wow, right? It's within the normal doubling range considering the first beta was 686 four days ago. I'll be honest and say that I was a tiny bit disappointed that the number didn't blow the doubling out the water. It was literally quadrupled from Thursday, minus six points. Was something wrong? Why is it a few points off from true doubling? I googled it and it seemed to be normal and fine.

So what's next? Ultrasound. They like doing an u/s when beta gets above 2,000 and/or around 6 weeks. So, assuming all continues well, six weeks for me is Sunday the 18th and the earliest we can do the u/s is Monday the 19th. However I want my husband to be there and Fridays are more flexible for him. I asked my nurse if it's ok to wait until 3/23. She responded that it's better to come in 3/16 which is two days earlier than the 6 week mark. All this was done over email so there was a long time between each response. I asked her what to expect on the appointment - I didn't want to go too early and be disappointed. I tried calling the front desk to schedule for the 16th but no one answered and I kept getting stuck in a hold loop. It was frustrating to try to get answers.

I'd rather go in on 23rd with more of a chance to see something. The u/s from May when they discovered the blighted ovum is still fresh in my mind and I'm scared. Now that I think about it more, maybe they want to make sure it's not ectopic, but wouldn't the hcg numbers show that? Or other symptoms? I don't know. We're walking on eggshells here and worried about everything. I'll try to pinpoint an answer from my nurse in the morning.

None of it seems real. We haven't fully processed. We've been here before and it didn't exactly have the outcome we wanted. So we're just ignoring it. It's somewhere in the background of our life. We do the shots nightly. We talk about bloodwork or appointments as casually as we have as though it's just another cycle. We're not discussing the what-ifs or the could-this-be-it because it's just too surreal. It doesn't seem like it needs to be talked about yet. It might sink in if we see a heartbeat.