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Monday, March 19, 2018

FET 6: 10dp6dt (3/5/18)

This post was originally written on the date in the subject line. All posts for FET 6 were saved as drafts and posted together as a series on one day. Read more here

We've reached double digits to days post transfer. Feels like a marathon. Does it ever stop feeling like the 2ww take up six times as long as regular weeks? Three more days until beta.

Last night the shots were getting to me. It's not just the shots, it's making sure I'm remembering everything. It feels like I'm constantly reminding myself not to forget something. First thing in the morning is the thyroid medicine, then a reminder to myself of no eating for at least 30 minutes. In the evening it's PIO and every third day add a second shot of DE. Before bed I take the prenatal and vitamin D3 supplements. The D3 I have come in units of 1000 and I'm supposed to take three (which, in addition to the vit D3 in the prenatal, comes out to 4000 nightly). The capsules are so thick and chalky that it takes two or three gulps of water to get them all down. I need to switch to gel caps or at least another version with a higher dose per pill so I don't have to swallow as many.

The shots themselves never seem to get easier. Sure, we've gotten a rhythm down and we can do them with a lot less fanfare than earlier days. The areas we've been poking are getting sore. Even though my husband rubs the muscle after, I'm noticing lumps that I have to work out. I worry that the lumps represent medication that didn't reach its destination. Last night we tried a new spot for the shot and it hurt a lot more than usual. New means the area hasn't gotten numb yet. When it hurts like that and brings tears to my eyes I just think about all the discomfort and pain we've gone through and cry about how we'll take it if another transfer fails. 

The first few days post transfer I had that constant full feeling in my uterus. Either I've gotten used to it or it's become even more mild because I haven't really noticed it as of late. My boobs are kind of sore if I poke them but that's likely the PIO. I finally succeeded in trashing the remaining expired pee sticks so I can't even obsess about whether or not to take those.

I haven't been nauseous but I've also not really had an appetite. I can explain most of the symptoms away to anxiety and meds. At this point I can convince myself it went either way. I think it worked but I don't know if it will get to ultrasound. I will honestly be very surprised if we get a negative beta. We've gotten past those where we've only gotten slightly further along each time: 
FET 1 - negative
FET 2 - negative
FET 3 - first beta was 61 then went down at second beta
FET 4 - first beta was 448, then doubled, then suddenly went down at third beta
FET 5 - first beta was 273, then more than quadrupled, then ended up as a blighted ovum discovered at 7w4d

So the first goal is to get a positive beta, because as sure as I believe my wonky/expired pee sticks from last week, still have to make it official with blood work. Then the next step is to hear a heartbeat. After that, we'll deal with whatever comes. 


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