Ordered

I finally crossed "buy meds" off my list. Of course there was multiple hold times with Freedom and the person had to call me back. It's never simple with them. It is what it is.... bye-bye thousands of dollars.

I went back to read my blog from this time last year. It's so sad. I can't even think of anything I want to do less than go through that again. Yet here we are... starting another cycle.

I had a mini-career crisis today. It feels like I'm stuck in a position where they see me in a certain way and I have nowhere to grow. I do look around at other open positions and occasionally apply and interview, but it's not like I'm getting comparable offers left and right. There are also so many good things about my job that I don't want to lose if I leave.

After venting to a friend who used to work there and knows the dynamics of the place, I felt better. I realized I want to figure out a way to get ahead at my current place rather than give up and try somewhere else. A decade ago I was so ambitious but these days it feels like all my energy is spent on gearing up and recovering from cycles. Being aware of that makes me want to try to rediscover some of that ambition and try new things.

In diet news I'm exactly the same weight as baseline from IVF 6. That means I'm just under the limit but want to get more of a cushion. I've been at this weight for about two years +/- five pounds. My newest goal is to get to a certain number by transfer day, whenever that happens to be. Right now I'm 21.4 lbs away from that number. I have a little time until baseline but Thanksgiving is right in between so I'll have to be careful not to overdo it that day.