Emotional side effects

I recently had a tiff (via text because we're millennials ;P) with someone close who tries to be sensitive but misses every so often. My resentment started out leaking through my words via text over time and then escalated to near hostility. It was time to air things out and we had a discussion.  While I said a lot of things I've been holding back for a long time, I don't think she totally got what it is that bothers me. Part of the resentment is that she's currently expecting #2. Through no fault of hers, I've been comparing our lives since her first pregnancy announcement coincided with our first failed treatment. It's not her fault this is so hard for me. But it's hard to put into words what repeated compromise and resentment can do to relationships.

I'm not sure anyone who hasn't been in this situation completely understands. At the same time I'm fully aware that I'm hyper sensitive, and this is really hard. I realize that I'm expecting a lot from people and that when expectations are set so high I'm setting myself up for disappointment. It's impossible to expect people to read my mind and know what words or actions can help or hurt. When people talk about "infertility" as a general concept they have absolutely no idea how difficult it is from all aspects.

I feel like my options are to (1) distance myself and have no interactions so as to avoid hurt, (2) tell someone what bothers me, repeatedly as it happens, and risk resentment on their part and lack of action to change anything because they just don't get it, or (3) continue as is and not say anything while lowering expectations significantly. Until now it's been option 3 but with too high expectations.

I don't know what the right response is. I don't know how to correctly handle it. Is there a right way to deal with this kind of social interaction? It scares me to think how much longer we'll be in this chapter of our lives, dealing with the nasty side effects of an already awful situation.

There's a Bonei Olam event next week. It's a fundraiser for a non-profit organization that offers grants toward fertility treatment to couples who meet the criteria, with the program promising to be a "beautiful evening of inspiration and success stories" of couples who have been able to build their families. While we've never received financial assistance from this organization, I still think it's an important organization to support. I would also love to meet other couples like us who are still in the pre-Success stage and still going through it, and goodness knows we can all use a little inspiration. The problem is that I'm worried the "inspiration" will backfire and I might fall apart in a room full of people. My husband isn't interested in going and my friend whom I'd normally drag to these things has a calendar conflict. I don't want to go alone; I don't even know if I want to go at all.