FET 5: 10dp6dt

Well, we've hit double digits for days post transfer. It seems like the days have taken forever while whizzing past at the same time. It's the last night before beta. Suddenly I'm scared for the 2ww to end. If we don't get good news tomorrow then this closes the chapter on FET 5, something we've been gearing up for, talking about, and preparing for for so long.

I've been trying not to cry all day. As distracted as I was at work, I still managed to get a few things done but not much and I don't have high hopes for tomorrow's productivity. I kept going over the possible outcomes in my mind over and over, good and bad. I kept going over things we did and wondering if there's anything we missed or anything we should have done.

Symptoms have changed which concerns me. No nausea anymore, not for a few days now. No sore boobs. Ever-present cramping, similar to period cramping. Bloating. Last night I googled "fet 2ww no symptoms bfp" to try and get some reassurance that symptoms or lack thereof don't mean that it didn't work. It was somewhat reassuring. I'm still worried.

I cried as I prepared the dosage for this evening's shots. I don't want this cycle to end until a healthy baby comes out. That's not up to me, though. Whatever happens is in His plan and I hope to have the strength to get through whatever comes next.

It's our hope that the next step is a good beta tomorrow. Wish us luck.