Waiting a day

In breaking news, we postponed baseline by a day. Hear me out.

I have an early morning meeting tomorrow. With all the craziness going on it didn't click that it was a conflict until this morning. Even moving my appointment to the first possible time, I still can't guarantee being at work on time. I'm leading the meeting and there are 20 people expected to be there. It was purposely scheduled several months ago. Rescheduling the meeting was not an option. Skipping the meeting was not an option. I tried to make peace with possibly coming late, but that didn't sit right.

So I called my nurse and asked if I move baseline to Friday, will it affect the rest of the timeline? Will the transfer date be moved? I specified that I only want to make the change if it has no effect no the rest of the schedule. If I can move baseline to Friday and meet my work requirements, then why not. I would not move it if it changed the transfer date.

My husband was not pleased. He said treatment is more important than work. He said I should skip the meeting. In fairness, I don't think he realized that delaying baseline didn't actually delay anything. I was upset at what seemed to be a quick dismissal of my job, or not even considering the ramifications of such an irresponsible move at work.

I would put treatment above work if necessary. I have since day one. I'm tired of bending backward to fit treatment into my schedule instead of the other way around but I do it because it's important and my number one priority. But if it doesn't make any difference overall why not make the change to fit my schedule better?

My nurse called me back and said there's no problem with moving the date, so I took the change and baseline is on Friday.

Even as I'm writing this out I recognize that I'm trying to convince myself a little too. Logically I know there's nothing wrong with making the switch because it doesn't make any difference for the timeline. Logically I know it's normal and healthy to make accommodations for other things in my life and not let treatment overwhelm every aspect of it. Logically I know nothing is different. Still, in my heart I feel like I'm somehow neglecting our efforts by postponing baseline. I can't be upset with my husband for his perspective when it's basically my perspective too. Still, it needed to happen to keep my sanity.