Physical and pregos

I went to my regular doctor yesterday for my physical. I haven't had a physical since 2014. Yikes! I knew it was a while but didn't realize how long its been. I usually go to urgent care for immediate care when I don't feel like waiting. As predicted, I waited half an hour in the waiting room, got called back, and then waited another 35 min in the smaller room. I knew it would happen. I wasn't worried - I took the time off work for the afternoon knowing I'd have a long wait. It's a good doctor with good office staff so it's a trade off.

Everything looked fine. The things that were worrying me were blood pressure and cholesterol but both are good. Everything else in my bloodwork was fine too except low vitamin D, as expected. I talked to her about where we are in our fertility journey and ran through what we've done until now as well as the plan moving forward. She is a good listener and made a few comments but overall no recommended changes.

Also of note yesterday, three things happened in a row. 

First, during our team meeting, one of my coworkers announced she's 13 weeks pregnant with her second baby. It wasn't unexpected. She mentioned that she was sure everyone knew. The truth is I did suspect it but I would never ask. I've suspected it since the summer but, again, I wasn't going to say anything. Turns out she had two miscarriages - once in the summer; once in the fall. So I was right - she was pregnant the whole time, just unfortunately miscarried twice. So now she's pregnant and she's "so glad it's out so she doesn't have to hide it anymore." How am I supposed to react? We work very closely together and I really like her. She's a good team member but I'm worried this will cause resentment. I can't fault her for her success in getting/staying pregnant, but I'm aware this may present a big challenge to see it daily until September.

Then, when I left the office in the afternoon for my doctor's appointment, I called my friend to vent about something unrelated. She mentioned in a by-the-way kind of comment that her cousin who was struggling with infertility for 5 years just had a baby or got pregnant. I said ok, that's cool. She said it makes her happy to hear infertile people have babies, it means it works and gives hope for people who are struggling through it. 

Finally, when I was at the doctor explaining my fertility journey, the doctor mentioned that one of her former assistants got pregnant with twins after several years of infertility. 

So a lot of pregnancy talk yesterday. I'm not sure why people feel the need to share stories of random people for whom fertility treatment works. I guess it's their way of relating? I suppose it's a coping mechanism when they know someone is in the thick of their struggle, possibly as a way to comfort them. As if somehow by saying that if it worked for Random Stranger it can also work for you!  I don't think it works that way. It doesn't comfort me to know that it worked for other people. I'm not mad that it worked for them, but their success has literally no effect on my challenge ahead. Just because it worked for them doesn't mean it will work for me. 

It's different when someone says it happened to them and they're telling me the story first hand. For example, last year I was once in urgent care getting checked out for something I can't remember and the doc ordered some bloodwork. The lab tech taking blood came in while I was telling the doc about all the fertility meds I was currently taking at the time. As the doc left so the tech can take blood, the tech told me he and his wife went through IVF to have their two kids and he understands how tough it can be. It was a very sweet "hang in there, we're rooting for you" message without any empty promises of "it will happen for you." It was very sweet and I was touched he cared enough to mention it. As someone who knows first-hand how hard it can be, his comment held more credibility and he knew how to be sensitive about offering words of support. 

It's hard to know what the right thing to say is, especially when different things resonate with different people. But I wish people wouldn't assume I want to hear about random success stories. I know they're trying to help so there's nothing for me to say. 

Tomorrow is baseline and I hope it's the start of our journey.