Therapy

A while back we considered starting therapy. Neither of us has been to therapy before and didn't know anything about the process. I had no idea how to find someone or where to start. It took a lot of effort to find someone that fit all our criteria but we finally did and scheduled the appointment.

We had an initial reaction when we first walked in but tried to reserve judgement. The place was cluttered with knick-knacks and lots of throw pillows. He had socks on but no shoes, possibly because he was overweight and they were swollen? I don't know. Maybe he was going for a homey/comfy feel but to me it felt stuffy, overcrowded, and unprofessional.

All that aside, we wanted to give him a fair shot. Since we had nothing to compare it to, we just assumed this was normal. We sat and talked for an hour. I felt like the therapist spent a lot of time talking. He was pleasant and friendly; he seemed experienced and knowledgeable.

After the first appointment we weren't thrilled but then again didn't really know what to expect. My husband, who is not nearly as judgey as I am, felt like he was an ok therapist and we should give him another chance. I wasn't too keen on starting the search process over so we went back for session two.

At the second session, it was more of the same with him chatting a lot. At one point he was trying to explain something and he asked, "Do you have any kids?" I did not like that question. We clearly explained in the first session that we were there because of infertility and loss - what kind of therapist doesn't take notes and then forgets a key reason why we're there? We got through the session but on the way home we both agreed that it was an egregious error. As daunting as the task was to start the search over I wasn't interested in settling for this guy.

For the second search, I reached out to a community resource who was able to guide me through finding someone. I was given recommendations for 4 therapists that were a better fit. I researched all and picked the one that fit almost all our criteria: he has Sunday/eve hours and he's a specialist in his field. Bonus is that he also texts/emails and he understands Jewish law. The only catch is that he doesn't take our insurance. Paying out of network can get pricey but after we meet our deductible the sessions would be covered at 70%. So we decided to give it a try and the appointment is next week.