A recruiter contacted me on LinkedIn regarding a job opening. It's not a job I would have applied for, but now that it basically fell in my lap I feel like I should consider it. There are a lot of pros to the position and some drawbacks. I know no position is ever going to be perfect, but even with all my complaining about my current job I've grown roots where I am now and I'm finding it very challenging to cut ties.
In my mind I go back and forth: if an official offer were presented, would I take it or would I not? If I'm not taking it, I need to tell the recruiter now and stop wasting people's time with interviews.
It started with messages back and forth with the recruiter, followed up with a phone screening, then a zoom meeting with multiple people, then an in person meeting 1:1. Now they want me to meet the next level people and I only have a hazy idea of what the compensation package includes.
If I'm not sure maybe I should hear more, but is that leading them on. Waiting until I get an offer and then using that as leverage at my current position feels deceitful and could backfire. In fact I would only tell my current employer about it if I was genuinely ready to accept. There's no graceful way to tell your employer that you're looking without them taking it poorly, is there? Even if they give me more money, there's not much they can do about the other things that I'd want to change like boredom and limited growth opportunities.
Last night I was so tired of discussing it that I just put my phone away and went to sleep at 9 pm. I spoke with several people close to me, including my husband. Throughout the course of the conversations it was clear that I don't know what is my priority: is it about a higher salary? Is it about flexibility? Is it about growth? Is it looking for a new challenge? What do I want? What is the most important thing to me?
I tried thinking about it in terms of how a man might see this. A man might not hesitate to cut ties with a current employer. A man wouldn't worry about "wasting people's time" with interviews. A man might not even hesitate to take a new job and then keep looking for something even better. But a man doesn't need to think through appointments trying to get pregnant, then pregnancy and maternity leave.
Even though I'm generally decisive and assertive, there are limitations to my job hunt that I know are significant enough to make me think twice. For starters, if I want to stay in the student loan forgiveness program I'm limited to government or non-profit jobs for the next several years. If I'm limited to where I can look, should I just wait until it's forgiven before trying to make a move?
Am I holding myself back, yet again, unnecessarily? Am I not allowing myself to be excited about this opportunity because of fear of change, or should I listen to my gut telling me that this isn't the right move? I don't know.
Thinking through my priorities, I know that my number one priority has been trying to grow our family. That remains my priority. I don't regret the choices I made until now to help that priority along. That said, I don't think I need to give it as much oxygen as I used to. In other words, other employers have dealt with pregnant employees and maternity leave and parents with kids who need to be picked up from school - all that is just life. Everyone wants flexibility. So knowing that ttc is my personal priority, what is my next career move?
It's very hard to think past the priority of having children. I think it's awesome that you have this opportunity and the chance to think things through. But I don't think you should shy away from the knowledge that having a baby(ies) is more important right now. It's reality. When that part of your life is over, then your priorities can also adjust.
ReplyDeleteI am genuinely happy that I am finished having children now, for all sorts of reasons, including the ability to focus on other things. But I absolutely do not regret nor would I change the fact it was my #1 priority for about 7 years. They were difficult and confusing years in many ways but they were part of the direction I chose, and I allowed the reality of that life to change me too.