Waiting

My insurance changed on January 1 and we are still waiting for them to approve the IVF cycle. While I'm waiting for that I'm waiting to hear back from the pharmacy regarding the medication. The wait is part of the package of fertility treatment.

There's waiting in every part of it. Wait for your period, then wait for several weeks on BC pills, then go through stims and wait every day for the nurse to call with the results -- is the number high enough? Am I responding well? Is there progress?  Then there's a flurry of activity where you go through the trigger shot and egg retrieval, but then there's the wait every day to find out which eggs fertilized, which ones made it to day 3, then day 5.  For us there's an added wait to hear back the results of the PGD testing and that adds another ten days of waiting.

Because of the PGD we can't do immediate transfers so we have to wait two weeks for the next period to come and then start another few weeks on BC pills for an FET. The worst is the official two week wait (aka 2WW) after the transfer. You know there's nothing you can do. After the whirlwind of activity it's truly a hellish wait and the hormones really don't help things. The last two times the 2WW resulted in the dreaded negative betas. As hard as the 2WW was, it was also frustrating to know that the entire cycle needed to be repeated and I was as far away from starting the process as possible.

A positive beta, as exciting as it seems, doesn't guarantee a baby. There's still 9 months to get through starting with a second beta, ultrasound at 6 weeks, and lots and lots of PIO shots besides for the regular OB/Gyn visits. I assume... I haven't gotten to that point yet.

By my estimates we can't get started until February. Two weeks of stims puts the ER around President's Day weekend and the transfer the end of March.  It seems like so long. I have to learn to see it as a time investment instead of a waste of time. I also have to remind myself to not hold myself back from doing other things in the meantime. I have to do other things with the time other than wait, so I am working on the following:

• Home projects: redecorate the living room, basement, or bedroom (still need to pick one)
• Eat better: reduce take out, be mindful of portions, add veg and fruit to daily menu
• Move more: exercise is important and I have a hard time getting motivated in the cold 
• Plan a trip: my birthday is coming up and we're planning a short getaway 
• Learn a new skill: currently attempting to learn Spanish

Not only will these projects make the time more meaningful but it will hopefully make it go by faster. 

There are so many times you have to wait for your body to get to where it needs to be that it's frustrating to have to wait for insurance. I know I am lucky that insurance covers a part of it, but at the same time I want to move on... I want a big family - so let's get this started!!!!