In some ways this feels worse. A year ago we had hope. Hope that a vaccine will be the magic cure that we need to end the pandemic. Hope that it can't possibly last much longer because we have a new administration who can fix it all. Hope that we won't be worrying about this isolation business much longer.
What are we looking forward to now? We're basically relearning how to live with this. I can't even think about summer camp options because in the back of my mind I don't even know if schools are going to be open next week. Case numbers are so high that some schools are holding testing clinics before they'll allow students and staff to return after winter break. There was such a high case number before break that nearly 70% of students were out the day before break - either because they were positive, exposed, or scared.
It's also worse because we're worn down. We're mentally, emotionally, and physically fatigued from all this. Who has the mental stamina to go into this third calendar year with the same vigilance we had at first when we were wiping down our groceries? As I get more desperate for social interaction, for myself and my toddler, my risk tolerance wanes. It always ends up on the side of safety, so we haven't done anything I regret, but I've thought about it.
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This past week school was closed and my husband worked overtime. So I was with the toddler on my own. I was surprised at how many people opted to travel. It was cold and rainy most days but we tried to take the opportunity to go outside whenever we could. Any pocket of time when it was tolerable to be outside we went out: we saw trees, we went to see animals, found parks, went to see some lights, and rode bikes outside. When we were stuck indoors we made cookies, played with toys, did puzzles, discovered play-dough, played music, trashed then cleaned the playroom more times than I can count, and had several occasions of screen time.
I love spending time with him. It was hard but I love every minute with him, watching him grow and learn and explore and test boundaries. Entertaining a toddler is challenging and exhausting, and I understand why preschool is so expensive. A week into break our routine is totally out the window. I was thinking of taking some time to potty train but I don't know if that will happen.
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I reviewed my list of goals for 2021. I completed 3/5 things I wrote down. I didn't get to my goal weight or meet my fitness goal, but to be fair I also put no effort into either. Oops.
I wrote a lot more things on my list for 2022. Some are just things I want to be able to afford; others are financial goals. Some other things on there too like trying to figure out a balance between confidence and humility.
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This blog is 5 years old. It's been a source of comfort and clarity so many times over the years, and the information chronicled here has definitely come in handy.
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Wishing us all a very happy, healthy, and safe 2022. Sending lots of love and strength to anyone who needs it. You're not alone.
Thank you for perspective and for sharing what you see happening in your community re covid.You do not post often but it is always sustaining when you do.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely wishing you and your family a healthy new year of joy and new beginnings. Be careful and stay as safe as possible.
Cheers to you!
Rose
"In some ways this feels worse. A year ago we had hope."
ReplyDeleteI know exactly what you mean, although I haven't been through the stress that you have had. I hope that, in between the madness, you can find joy in the little things in 2022, and new things to hope for.