19w+

I started feeling movement at 18 weeks. They said I'd be able to feel it sooner with this one because I would know what to look for. I think it might be because this one is a lot more active. At my last appointment I was down 5 lbs.

***

Here we are again with another surge. I'm sad and upset that we're back here. It's been so long of the same story. There seems no end in sight. We were close. We saw some light at the end of the tunnel. Things were going "back to normal" but with some differences. We were willing to put up with them because it was nearly normal. But now things are shutting down again. For me it was the NY Rockettes canceling the rest of their season that really hit me hard. Not that I had any plans to see it live or be in New York, but the shutting down of an iconic show during its busiest season was reminiscent of the darkest days of the lockdowns.

On the flip side there are the anti-vaxxers who are just not understanding that they're part of the problem. They're in shock that this is still a thing in the media and that the govt is pushing on everyone. I can't understand where they went so wrong in their education; where they went wrong in their way of thinking. I believe they think the same way about vaccinated people. I don't know what needs to happen to fix it. When everything feels so out of control, I have to remember that this is all up to Him and we never had any control at all.

At this point we're basically mitigating risk tolerance; weighing the benefits of the activity vs risk of exposure. School is a priority for everyone's benefit and mental health, so we send him with a mask and a prayer. Playdates outside of his regular circle of friends are out of the question. Playdates otherwise? Not sure. Unnecessary indoor activities are off limits. Outdoor activities are fine but because it's so cold those are far and few between. We try to take advantage of outdoor time that isn't freezing cold or pitch black by 5 pm - there are about 15 min of that every third day. I know it's a challenging time for everyone.

***

I got myself a present that brings me a lot of joy. A few years back I started taking pottery classes and really enjoyed them. At the time I did some research online and found several potters I started following on social media. When I got pregnant I had to stop because the spinning wheel made me dizzy. I hope to pick it up again someday soon but in the meantime I kept following the potters online to pick up tips and techniques and see their beautiful art. I recently purchased a [very expensive] mug from one of them and I absolutely love it. I saved it for my first warm drink on Shabbat and have been using it since for everything. It just makes me happy and I'm glad I splurged.

***

Happy holidays to all who celebrate. I hope 2022 is a good year for us all.