Varicocelectomy

On Tuesday my husband went through bilateral varicocele repair surgery. This procedure has been on my mind for many weeks causing anxiety and stress. I'm relieved it's behind us.

We understood that it's a simple procedure and for some reason we assumed it was similar to an egg retrieval. I think it can be considered simple compared to major surgery but it was a lot more than we expected. By now we understand most things about an egg retrieval and have the schedule pretty much memorized: we get there 90 min before scheduled procedure, we're together the entire wait time, separate right before I get called to the OR where he waits in the quiet waiting room (usually on his own) for about 20 minutes, then as soon as I wake up they get him and we're together until discharge. The whole retrieval is about 3 hours total. I don't know where we got the idea that this surgery would be similar but it was not.

For starters, surgery was scheduled at a major hospital, not a specialized clinic. That meant we were among tens of other families in the queue for all types of surgery that day. The procedure was scheduled for 1 pm and we were told to arrive two hours early. At 11 am we arrived and signed in. He reviewed some paperwork and was then called back  on his own to get situated. They asked me to go wait in the Family Waiting Room (FWR) which was crowded with about two dozen people and smelled like an airport bathroom. This was already a surprise - I didn't realize we were separated immediately. I didn't know they wouldn't let me into that part and it upset me more than I already was.

Nearly an hour later (yep), they let me go back and wait with him while waiting for the operation. He was dressed in a hospital bed and hooked up to IV. I cried when I got to see him and nothing had even happened yet. I was so scared and so anxious that I couldn't help it. Nurses came to check in on him, ask questions, get information. The anesthesiology doctor came in, then the anesthesiology nurse, then another OR nurse but our appointment time came and went without any signs of progress that things were moving. The doctor poked his head in around 1:30 saying he'll be right in. When he came in he also went over paperwork and we discovered that the procedure is actually two hours long, not an hour like I'd originally thought. We finished paperwork and he said we'd be going in shortly.

At 2 pm he finally got rolled out and the surgery began. I settled into the FWR and waited it out. I came woefully unprepared. I didn't bring earphones so I couldn't listen to anything on my phone. I should have brought some kind of bag to keep all of his stuff in. I also didn't bring anything to read or eat. I was too anxious to eat anything before we left and wasn't hungry throughout the day but by 3 pm I was starting to feel it and found some kosher pretzels and OJ in the gift shop. Just after 4 pm the doctor came out to tell me everything went well and give me an update. I was gathering my stuff to go see my husband but doc said not quite yet - that he was still waking up in recovery and I'll get to see him soon.

That's when the real wait began. I was anxious to get to my husband. I wanted to see for myself how he was doing. I checked in with the FWR staff and they said it sometimes takes an hour or longer (!) before I can get taken back.  At 5 pm I started bothering them more often asking when I can go back. I understood that they couldn't make the nurses allow me back any sooner but I didn't care. They do their job, I'll do mine.  At 5:30 pm they finally took me back and said I have five minutes. Just five minutes. I went back to the big recovery room where all the patients recovering from surgery were in one large room. The beds were around the perimeter with only side curtains on either side of the beds and the nurses station at the center.

My husband seemed alert and in good spirits albeit in pain. They said they couldn't release him until he went to the bathroom, because they had to make sure it was all still in working order before releasing him. He was dehydrated and in pain. It was frustrating that they wouldn't let me sit with him. I had to go back to the FWR. Meanwhile other family members were reunited with their loved ones and the room was dwindling down to the last half dozen or so people still waiting. It was almost an hour later, and after much prodding, that I was allowed another visit. They had decided that since he wouldn't be staying the night, he would just get discharged from the recovery room. So instead of wheeling him to a post-op room, which is a single room with more space and privacy where I would have been allowed to stay with him, they kept him in the recovery room where family members aren't allowed.

I wanted to know what was taking so long - why couldn't we go home? Turns out that our hero, who wanted to go home even more than I did, decided to chug water to combat the dehydration and threw up. They had to verify the cause of the throwing up and make sure it was ok to release him. By the time I was there for the second visit he was already getting released - IV was out and discharge papers were reviewed, he just needed to get dressed.

We got home around 8:00 pm tired and hungry and totally spent. I dropped him off at home and tucked him in bed before going to the pharmacy to fill his pain meds which was another adventure. I went to four different pharmacies before I was able to get the order filled. For some reason unknown to me everywhere I went was out. I was exhausted and just wanted to get my husband pain relief. When I got to a pharmacy that confirmed they have it in stock it was 8:57 pm. They said they were closing for the night and that I should come back tomorrow to get it filled. All the stress of the day hit me at once and I started crying right there at the counter, explaining that my husband just had surgery and that I'd spent nearly an hour trying to hunt down some relief for him. Luckily the pharmacist took pity on me and filled the prescription. Within 7 minutes I was back in my car with the prescription in hand. Thankful and exhausted I got home, had a bowl of cereal, and passed out. It was such a long and exhausting day. I was a mess the majority of it.

All day I'd been fielding texts from well-meaning family and friends who wanted to help: drop off food, bring us stuff, checking in. We didn't need anything - we just wanted to go home. I appreciated the concern but I realized how frustrating it is to continuously get bombarded with questions to which I had no answers. Getting an "update?" text from someone when I'm exploding from worry because it's been 90 min post surgery and they won't let me see my husband is beyond frustrating. I'll remember that for when I'm on the other end. At some point I just copied and pasted "I don't know" and used that as my default response.

The doctor was fabulous. I would highly recommend him to anyone needing his particular specialty. We were completely out of our comfort zone with regard to this whole ordeal and it was a lot more than I anticipated when we first made the initial consultation with him, but he took us through it step by step. I feel like there was a lot of hashgacha pratis with regard to his doctor: getting our initial consult moved up from 5/1 to 3/29 and get the ball rolling early. I'm also glad we ended up getting the procedure done on a Tuesday rather than Friday, which is the usual day this doctor does varicocele repairs to give the patient the weekend to recover. Considering how ill-prepared we were and how much longer than anticipated the procedure took, there would have been shabbat issues to deal with had it been on a Friday.

Recovery is going well. Soreness from the incisions, pain from the surgery, and tiredness from the anesthesia are all there as expected. We're officially in the countdown to IVF.