Time + Google = Anxiety

It was slow, lazy Sunday. My husband is traveling so I had a lot of time to myself. There weren't any house chores to do, there weren't any errands to run (it was rainy and gross so I wasn't going out anyway) so I had a lot of time to think and google. And snack. Not a good combo.

I read on Google that 6 day blasts are apparently not as good as 5 day blasts. What?? WHY. I think all our blasts were biopsied and frozen on Day 6. Is this something new I have to worry about? What now. Reading more -- and moving from message board to articles -- it explains that if an embryo reaches blast on day 6 the lining may no longer be as receptive as day 5 and so it's better to cryopreserve and do an FET rather than transfer fresh on day 6 if the lining isn't as receptive.

None of that is relevant to me because we freeze anyway and get lining set up to ideal with ERA results anyway. Beside that it really depends on the embryo grade and how it survives the thaw and hatching and a bunch of other factors. Still - reading it gave me a fright and bummed me out.

My state of mind is clearly very fragile these days. It's hard to want something to work so badly that you hold on to any strings of hope. It doesn't take much to shatter to facade of "I'm ok" and "this can totally work."

I spent the morning hanging out with some people and then watching movies in the afternoon in bed. For the first time I saw Star Wars (1977) and finally understood all the cultural references. I also watched Star Wars (2015) and started Star Wars (1980) before I had enough. It annoys me that they understand the droids and Chewbacca but we don't. It's like the opposite of Stewie on Family Guy.  I tried watching Louis CK but the news about him just made me not appreciate the humor anymore. It's a shame; he used to be one of my favorite comedians.

In other news I discovered that my thyroid meds have made my skin really soft. My upper arms used to be perpetually dry, no matter how much lotion I used. I googled that too and it seems like there is a connection. Finally; a side effect I can get on board with.