Nervous

Tomorrow is my second baseline appointment and I've been worried and anxious all day. I've kept a really trim diet over the past week which was difficult over the holiday but I stuck with it.

This morning I weighed myself and there was no change from Sunday's weight, which was lower than the clinic's recorded weight by 4.2 lbs. I'm worried that it's not enough. I'm worried that there is too much of a difference in the two scales, both digital, but still. I'm worried that we'll have to wait an entire month for my next cycle to get started.

All day I tried to think of ways to get an 'edge' in case it comes down to a minuscule amount. Like, I was trying to contemplate what to wear that won't add extra weight. Since I couldn't stop thinking about it, I actually weighed the clothes I wore last week (weighed myself, then weighed myself again holding the clothing) to see that they actually weigh 1.4 lbs. Getting weighed unclothed is not an option.

I drank so much water today that I'm hungry and stuffed at the same time. I trimmed my nails because it was time, but when I thought of it I was like, "Oh, there go another few ounces!" I'll find some normal, light clothing and I'll shower tonight instead of the morning so my hair isn't wet. Once I started thinking that maybe I should trim my hair I realized I've taken it too far. It is what it is. If we need to wait another cycle, so be it. I hope it's not the case.