Attitude of gratitude

I started our registry on Amazon. It was actually not as bad as I thought it would be. While they didn't have the option to add a default list and then edit it, they did have everything set up by categories and presented about 5-7 options for each with the option to expand to more. That way it's easy to navigate and before I knew it I was up to nearly 120 items on the registry.

Even though I added everything from toys to furniture, I tried to be strategic in what I thought we would practically use. There are also a lot of "would be nice to haves" that I wouldn't mind if they weren't bought, plus I tried to think a little ahead and added things for 9-18 months that may be needed. Once the list was complete, I went back and compared items based on safety info, reviews, and prices on the big items like the car seat, stroller, and crib. I'm comfortable buying and installing the car seat. Everything else will have to wait until after and I'll keep the registry set to private until then.

At one point during the registry set up I got choked up at the socks. Tiny little socks for adorable tiny feet. It made me think about how much longer we still have before we meet the baby and hoping that everything goes well that we'll get to use those tiny socks. I'm scared about the birth. Not the pain, not the scars, not the recovery. It's the horror stories of women who don't make it through that terrifies me. Or babies who have complications or chalila born still. It's not a given to be blessed with a miracle and I don't take it for granted. There are some people who get bogged down by gender-reveal parties, or baby-shower drama, or birth plans that don't go as planned. I get that those are their issues and don't judge anyone for what they prioritize. For me, I pray to get through everything with everyone safe and healthy.

While I want a guarantee that everything will be ok, I don't want to wish the time away. I want to appreciate the experience along the way. This is such a gift and I don't want my anxieties to overshadow my gratitude for being in this position. I took some time to recompose and get on with it. I've learned time and again that there's no point in living in the what-ifs. All we can do is try our best, take things as they come, and continue to be grateful for every day.