Adjusting

Besides for dealing with some minor imposter feelings, like what am I doing in the world of OB appointments and sonograms, I'm also struggling with the uneasiness of preparing ahead of time.

Ideally it would be incredible to have everything completely done to ease the transition after we all get home: room furnished and set up; clothes washed and folded in the dresser; diapers and other butt accessories ready and waiting. In reality it's been hard enough to think about daycare and pediatricians which seem to be the biggies for me, let alone getting a room painted and starting a registry. In my circles people rarely prepare much, if anything, before baby is born because of superstitions. Usually the dad runs out to buy a carseat the day after birth and setup pretty much begins there. Some of my friends have filled up an amazon shopping cart and waited until the birth to click buy. Obviously one doesn't need everything the minute baby is born, but who wants to deal with a mountain of amazon packages a week post birth? I totally understand it, but both options of preparing or not preparing give me anxiety.

I started looking through other people's registries to see if I could copy. There is just so much STUFF. I need to get into the mindset of thinking about the essentials of every day life with a newborn when I'm still working on trying to believe that it's actually happening. I know people buy a bunch of crap they don't need and I would love to avoid that. I looked on amazon to see if they have a default registry I could just add and then edit. Anyone know if that's a thing?

Some have told me not to worry about the money for the big ticket items because "people will buy that for you." That seems awfully entitled to me. It's humbling enough to accept a gift, but it's another thing to expect it. It also feels like my responsibility to buy the things that are required for the care of the child I chose to bring.

I'm realizing now how much lack of maternity leave blows. No matter how long anyone waited for their baby, they should not have to choose between paying the mortgage or getting those weeks to recover and bond. For anyone who hasn't accrued enough paid time off, it's really a hardship. At a time when a family needs more money to help welcome the new addition, people are supposed to go without pay? What's up with that, America? You can do better.