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We're at the point where I'm doing weekly biophysical tests, so ultrasound, NST, and doctor. If the stars align you can get in and out in under 45 minutes but that's rare. The first appointment happened to be at noon because it was scheduled recently and all the schedules were booked so I had a long wait in between and was there nearly 2 hours in the middle of the day. It's a busy week at work and I was frustrated to be stuck there. I was also really annoyed at the NST - I don't remember them being so uncomfortable. Lay in a specific position without moving for at least 20 minutes while this ancient machine tries to pick up information from a squirmy baby trying to avoid the monitor. Whenever I tried adjusting from the uncomfortable position, the signal would get lost. I was stiff and sore by the time it was over and asked to start the petition to switch out that horrible exam table for a lazy boy chair. The technician was also really grating on my nerves because her response to everything was to laugh. What's so funny?! Clearly I was sour and just overall grumpy at having to be there. When I was finally released I took a moment to breathe in my gratitude that it was just a temporary discomfort and that all the results were ok, BH. 

I've gained 12 lbs to date but feel very, very large. Looking back at my post from last pregnancy, I was at +21 lbs at around this time (27 total), but I'm definitely carrying higher this time. I never felt my belly was in the way last time and this time it feels like it's everywhere. Yesterday I felt very snackish but regardless of the mountains of junk food we've accumulated over the past week with Purim, nothing seemed to be appealing. I ended up chopping up a salad with tomato, cucumber, red pepper, olives, and avocado, with a little balsamic vinegar and salt. 

I've been in a mood lately. I was blue about canceled birthday plans. I was disappointed at various things. There's a coworker who I have a hard time seeing every day and when I tried to isolate the reason(s) why, there are just so many so I assume I just don't like this person. I'm emotional about all the changes about to take place. On one hand it feels like time is speeding by and I can't believe my scheduled c-sec is so soon; on the other hand I feel like I've been pregnant with this baby forever since this cycle started in August. I've been having trouble sleeping. Partially because I'm uncomfortable or have to pee, partially because it's harder to calm my mind these days with a lot going on. 

I have a few posts I started and then just left as drafts. Not sure if I wasn't happy with them or just didn't have the mental energy to fully formulate my thoughts, but I'll try to be better about it. I'll end it here and post before I find a hundred things to edit.