ERA II: the biopsy

Remember how I was planning to get there early in the hope of getting out of there early? Yeah right.

I got there at 8:45 AM for the 9:00 AM appointment and gave my urine sample. I was taken back at 9:12 AM and filled out my paperwork. I waited in the room for the CNP to do the biopsy itself. I waited... and waited... and waited. It wasn't until 9:40 AM that she came in, apologizing that there was a patient who came in with an emergency.

She starts with the speculum. It was so uncomfortable. She said she was going to try a different instrument, so out goes the first one and in goes the second one. She tries a few times to clean off the cervix but I was so tense that it wasn't working and she took everything out and said she'll give me a minute before trying again.  I told her that while I appreciate that she's trying to be gentle, not to worry about it and just do the procedure as fast as possible. She understood and started again. She got a scrape off the left side and it hurt. So much. She wasn't satisfied that it was enough and she wanted to make sure I wouldn't have to repeat the whole cycle, so out of an abundance of caution she took another scrape off the right side of the uterus.

The whole thing was over in a few minutes but it was painful. I wasn't as sorry for myself this time around but I was still crying as I was getting dressed. I had to tell myself to suck it up several times so that I can stop crying.

I was out of there by 10:00 AM. I had calmed down a little but my face gets blotchy when I cry and I was trying to get it to clear up before going in to work. I blasted Adele on the radio and rolled down the windows as I zoomed down the highway and it worked for a few minutes but then I got a whole fresh batch of tears. I realized I need a gap between the appointment and work so I stopped by Starbucks and got a hot chocolate. By the time I got to work at 10:40 AM it just in time to join a meeting already in progress.

I was scheduled to work until 9:00 PM tonight but I emailed my supervisor and told her I won't be joining them for the event this evening. I had given her a heads up last week that this might be an issue and I told her I'd confirm once I knew I how I felt so it wasn't a surprise. It's a long evening and I don't want to drive myself nuts about working if I don't have to.

After the appointment I took some Ibuprofen and made it through the work day. Dinner is Chinese takeout and a long nap.