Monday, January 7, 2019

Antsy

It's day 5 of my strict diet and the scale seemed to approve. I know most of it is water weight and I'm ok with that. It was more difficult to maintain over the weekend because of multiple parties but I'm proud to have held strong. While I'm annoyed to be back to the daily grind, I appreciate the routine of weekdays. I know that I need to keep checking my willpower though because it can get fatigued toward the end of the day. I'm drinking a lot of water and sleeping well and I think that's helping also.

I'm feeling really antsy. I don't know if I'm delirious from the withdrawal of sugar and carbs or bored with getting back to the mundane of daily life. I'm thinking of moving houses. I'm thinking of applying to new jobs. I even considered starting a new blog. Each one has pros and cons. A new house wouldn't need as much renovations but will we still like our neighborhood? A new job might have exciting new challenges but would it have the same perks? A new blog would bring with it a fresh start but how am I supposed to turn the page while we're still in the thick of fertility treatments?

I'm feeling stuck; physically and mentally. Nothing interests me and I'm easily irritated. Last night I went on a binge of searching beautiful hotels in the virgin islands. Private pools. Stunning views. Delicious kosher food available for delivery. All of it available if you have the money. Some of these resorts start at $500 per night but that's not even the biggest kicker. Zika is still an issue in all these beautiful locations. Even if I won the lottery and could afford these tropical destinations it wouldn't make a difference.

The path of least resistance is to do nothing and wait until the antsy feeling fizzles away. But maybe I don't want to let it fizzle without a change. Last time I felt this way I signed up for a pottery class and cut off my ponytail. Maybe this time I'll actually go through with looking for a new job?  Other ideas welcome.



2 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  2. The Bahamas and cayman island have been removed from Zika list by the cdc, and bermuda was always clear. We went to norway instead of Cuba during my treatment for this reason and it was fabulous. I hope you have a great trip or new year!

    ReplyDelete

Labels

# (1) #chroniclesofacoworker (1) #enjoythewait (2) #microblogmondays (7) #oneatatime (2) 10lbs plan (16) 2016 (1) 2017 (4) 2018 (1) 2ww (17) AC (2) acupuncture (2) adult (1) all or nothing (3) Amazon (1) anxiety (28) appointment (1) baby names (1) back pain (2) badass (1) baseline (3) beach (1) bedroom (2) benefits (1) beta (7) biopsy (5) birthday (8) blessed (1) blogs (4) blood pressure (3) bloodwork (33) book club (1) bugs (1) busy (2) cardiologist (2) career (8) carpe diem (3) CD138 (5) challenge (2) changes (2) chemical pregnancy (7) control (2) cost (2) coverage (2) cramps (6) crime (1) crown (6) D&C (3) diet (22) dream (2) egg retrieval (12) embryos (27) EMMA (4) endo scratch (5) endocrinologist (8) endometritis (1) ENT (1) ERA (31) ERA II (6) eyes (4) Facebook (5) fear of failure (4) FET #3 (22) FET #4 (26) FET #5 (27) FET #6 (19) FET prep (42) fitness (1) food (4) friends (2) furniture (4) Game of Thrones (1) gassy (2) glucose/insulin (2) goals (8) guests (2) gym (3) halacha (5) healthy menu (4) heart (2) hobbies (4) holiday (3) home (1) home decor (11) hopeful (13) HPT (7) HSG (2) Hurricane Matthew (1) hysteroscopy (10) imwithher (1) incident (1) insulin (1) insurance (12) interview (2) island (2) Israel (3) IVF #3 (13) IVF #4 (14) IVF #5 (24) IVF #6 (17) IVF #7 (15) IVF #8 (13) IVF tips (3) IVF treatment (42) job (3) journey (2) Judaism (1) juggling (1) lining (2) loss (2) lucky (1) mail fraud (2) mattress (2) medication (3) membership (1) mental health (1) MitoScore (1) mole (2) money (2) moody (2) natural cycle (1) nesting (1) new york (2) non-IVF (6) November 2016 (2) numb (2) olympics (2) p'ru urvu (1) pain (3) passion project (1) passover (11) path (2) patience (4) perspective (3) pesach (19) PGD (14) phase (1) PIO (9) plan (2) pop (2) pottery (4) prayer (1) pregnant (15) pupo (20) purim (3) reconstruction (4) remodeling (3) research (1) resolutions (2) responsibility (1) results (21) road map (2) roof (1) root canal (2) Rosh Hashana (4) RPL (8) sac (1) sad (6) Shabbat (5) sharing news (1) shavuot (4) shots (1) snow (1) social media (2) social media cringe (2) special (1) specialist (3) spending (1) spring (1) stain test (3) staycation (1) stress (1) sukkot (2) summer (4) support (5) surgery (1) Survivor (3) symptoms (40) Tdap (1) terrific trio (1) testing (3) Thankful (3) therapy (4) thinner in 30 (1) thoughtless (1) thoughts (22) thyroid (6) timeline (5) tips (1) trigger (2) trip (13) TTC (3) TV (4) ultrasound (20) update (8) upgrade (1) vacation (12) varicocele (2) vegging (3) waiting (26) warm feet (1) Wegmans (2) willpower (3) wishlist (1) work (9) work politics (3) workout (3) worry (13) yoatzot (1) zika (5)